


lovedrunk

by zouisau



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen, Mutual Pining, as slow a burn as 35k can be where there's two idiots in love, basically a hostel AU, just them traveling and being in love, way too much drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:42:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 35,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28045617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zouisau/pseuds/zouisau
Summary: Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are travelling through Europe, enjoying the last weeks they have together before they go their separate ways. Kyungsoo tries to hold on to every moment, wishing the minutes with Chanyeol could last just a little longer. Doesn't want their time to end, not when he's completely in love with him. He only wishes to make these last moments perfect for them.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 12
Kudos: 47





	lovedrunk

**Author's Note:**

> a few things:
> 
> -i basically just thought this would be a fun cute thing and i wrote it in the middle of finals as a distraction but i had a lot of fun writing it so i'm happy with it even when it started turning into a bit of a monster
> 
> -i have never been to europe, but i tried my best to research these places at least a little bit (a very little bit)
> 
> -title from epik high or boys like girls whichever u want
> 
> -i've looked this over myself, so any mistakes are my own
> 
> -i also had to reformat this so sorry if anything looks off ;;
> 
> -this is just for fun blah blah

**_London_ **

The jolt of the landing shakes Kyungsoo awake and he startles in his seat, knees knocking against the seat in front of him. There’s a baby crying somewhere behind him and Kyungsoo blinks away the sleepiness.

It takes a while for him to be able to get out of the plane and even longer for him to get through customs. He feels dead tired as he makes his way into the waiting area; the incessant buzzing of texts in his pocket had let him know Jongdae, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol had been waiting for him since his plane landed.

He feels Chanyeol before he sees him. He knocks into Kyungsoo which so much force that Kyungsoo lurches to the side, his legs still not completely stable after travelling for so long. Chanyeol reaches out for him, wrapping him up in a hug and stabling him.

“Soo,” Chanyeol’s has contorted his spine, head tucked into Kyungsoo’s neck despite their height difference. “Soo, I missed you.”

Kyungsoo pushes him away gently. “Chanyeol,” he can’t help but laugh. “It’s been like a week.” Truthfully, he had missed his friends as well.

“A week too long,” Chanyeol whines.

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun says, hugging him from the other side. It only encourages Chanyeol to hold on tighter, dragging them both along.

Baekhyun pulls away first, taking Kyungsoo’s small luggage from him. “Dae’s in the bathroom—I’d told him he’d miss when you get here so scold him.”

Chanyeol pouts, tugs on Kyungsoo’s backpack and pouts harder when Kyungsoo doesn’t release it. Kyungsoo ignores him.

“Do you want coffee? Lunch? There’s a sandwich place nearby.” Baekhyun says.

“Maybe just coffee,” Kyungsoo points towards a kiosk. He’s hoping an ice cold Americano could cure the sleepiness he feels.

Jongdae joins them when they’re ordering, cuddling up to Kyungsoo and asking about his trip. Kyungsoo tries to reply in more than just monosyllables, but the tiredness is settling deep within his bones. He’d gone straight from his last day at his internship to the airport (his luggage had sat in his bosses’ office all day), his flight had a short layover in New York before the longer flight to London.

They shuffle into a taxi and head to the airbnb where Chanyeol, Jongdae, and Baekhyun had already been staying. It’s small—a studio with only one queen bed but a long couch and a reclining arm chair. There’s blankets and pillows on the couch and clothes strewn about the room. The small kitchenette is filled with empty takeout containers and half-empty bottles of liquor.

Baekhyun makes a face as if just realizing just how messy it really is, “We’ve been kinda in and out. We’ll clean later.”

Kyungsoo shrugs half-heartedly. The airbnb mess the least of his worries, he knows Baekhyun is right—they won’t be spending much time within its walls either way. “It’s fine.” He drops his own luggage by what he recognizes as Chanyeol’s (only because they’d gone to Mexico during Spring Break junior year and had travelled together). He stretches a little bit.

“Can I take a quick nap?”

“You’re gonna get jet lag,” Chanyeol points out, sitting next to Kyungsoo and slinging an arm around him. “Plus, we have the whole day planned.”

“Mmmm,” Kyungsoo lets his body lean against Chanyeol, listening as Baekhyun explains their planned iteniarary. He wants to tell them that he just wants to sleep—just for today—but he knows Baek and Jongdae will be leaving soon, their time in London barely overlapping. He’s also excited, if he’s honest. Even if he hasn’t slept properly in over twenty-four hours.

He lets himself be swayed, takes a quick shower before letting himself be led out. London is pretty, the touristy things they do fun if not a little cliché. Chanyeol takes a lot of film pictures, and Kyungsoo tries his best to smile whenever he notices Chanyeol’s camera aimed at him.

He feels dead tired, but it’s nice, being among the chatter of his friends. They seem to have already seen some of the sights (especially Baekhyun who had studied abroad in London for their junior year) and they alternate in acting like his tour guide. Kyungsoo humors them, plays along in asking questions and ahh-ing at the right moments.

♡♡♡

They go to Kensington Gardens in the morning, Chanyeol snapping photos on his camera so much he switches film rolls after only twenty minutes. He makes a face when he realizes how fast he’s going through the roll. He only takes a few more pictures before stuffing the camera in his bag and switching to his phone. Baekhyun laughs at him and Chanyeol says something about how Baek and Dae had been taking pictures as well and wasted his roll.

Kensington Gardens is nice. There’s lots of families milling around and they take their time to walk the grounds and surrounding areas.

It’s not until the sun is high in the sky that they make their way back closer to their airbnb, had agreed to meet some of Baekhyun’s old friends in a pub.

The pub they go to is a hole-in-the-wall. For how discreet the outside is, the inside is absolutely packed. Loud groups of uni students crammed into booths as they laugh over large glasses of beer and share greasy food.

Chanyeol’s eyes shine taking the whole place, and it makes Kyungsoo want to wrap him up, kiss his nose maybe and squeeze his cheeks. Instead, he lets Chanyeol hook an arm around him, lets himself be led by Chanyeol.

They shuffle further into the building, Baekhyun leading the way. It’s evident he knows his way around despite not having been to London in more than a year, but he navigates the place easily. He leads them into a connected room where more crowded tables await.

They were meant to meet Baekhyun’s friends twenty minutes ago, but they had gotten turned around on their way here, and Baekhyun hadn’t let any of them pull out a GPS, insisting he knew the way and it was only a block more. At the end, Jongdae had finally whined enough that Baekhyun gave in.

Baekhyun’s three good friends from his study abroad trip are seated in a booth and Baekhyun wastes no time, sliding in and making introductions. Even as they talk, Kyungsoo forgets their names, he’s sure they’ve played roles in Baekhyun’s stories before but the introductions are quick and the names escape him before he’s able to root them in his mind. The three guys are nice enough, asking them questions about their travel plans and giving them suggestions for places to see and eat around London.

A few drinks in they switch to telling embarrassing Baekhyun stories, which encourages Jongdae and Chanyeol to participate, trying to out-do one another.

“This little kid kept calling Baekhyun mommy on the tube,” one of the guys says, causing everyone to burst into laughter.

“Was it when he had that god forsaken ponytail?” Chanyeol asks, grinning as they all recall Baekhyun’s unfortunate low pony that he sported for months while he was abroad. They’d all had the pleasure to experience it in real-time when he’d flown back to the Bay, Sehun carrying scissors when they had met Baekhyun his first night back.

“It wasn’t that bad,” Baekhyun tries to defend himself, shoving some fries into his mouth.

“It was an abomination to human kind,” one of Baekhyun’s friends says. “Admit it you hated it.”

“It was a look!” Baekhyun tries again.

“It was a sad attempt to get into Ben’s pants and you know it,” the same friend says.

Baekhyun makes a whining noise at the back of his throat as the table laughs. “Okay, fine. It was a mistake—but a mistake made out of love.”

“Baekhyun? Love?” One of his friends laughs, the first one that had brought up the kid on the tube.

“Fine, horniness,” Baekhyun throws a fry across the table, hitting his friend square in the face and causing the table to erupt in laughter.

“Wait, wait, wait backup. Ponytail Baekhyun was for a guy? You’re kidding.” Chanyeol says, looking incredulously between Baekhyun and his friend as if he were expecting someone to yell ‘ _sike!_ ’ at any moment. “You’re telling me someone actually liked the ponytail?”

“Ben was the object of Baekhyun’s affections and he complimented the ponytail once. The jury’s still out on whether he liked it or not,” one of Baekhyun’s friends says, even as Baekhyun rolls his eyes dramatically.

“The evil that man unleashed.” Chanyeol fake-shudders, grinning.

“C’mon,” Baekhyun makes a face. “It wasn’t that bad. Plus, Chanyeol, you had a mullet just last year. A bit of the pot calling the kettle black, no?”

“No, I pulled it off,” Chanyeol says. “Don’t turn this on me.”

Baekhyun pulls a face, and Kyungsoo throws an arm around Chanyeol, emboldened by the beer and the warmth of the atmosphere.

“Chanyeol looked hot with a mullet,” Jongdae cuts in, blowing a kiss across the table and winking playfully at Chanyeol.

“You would know,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes.

“Plus, a low ponytail is just like straight-up douche-y,” Jongdae adds, grabbing a fry.

“Okay, okay.” Baekhyun raises his eyes in mock defense. “I get it. No more ponytail.”

♡♡♡

They’re worn out when they get back. Jongdae taking stake of the bathroom first before crawling into his nest of pillows and blanket on the couch, curling into a ball.

Chanyeol throws his body on top of him, walking out of the bathroom himself. His hair is pushed back with a clip having just washed his face. Kyungsoo pretends it’s not as cute as it actually is.

Jongdae makes a small whining noise as Chanyeol settles in on top of him. Kyungsoo watches drowsily as he sits on the bed, his body aching as he leans back against the headboard.

“Get off, you oaf.” Jongdae wiggles.

“Say you love me.” Chanyeol says, holding on.

“Off,” Jongdae mumbles, unfurling himself and kicking to get Chanyeol off.

Chanyeol laughs, hugging him tighter before getting up, stretching his arms high above his head as he heads towards his luggage.

“Who gets the bed tonight?” Baekhyun says, coming out of the bathroom dressed in a pair of old sweats and a threadbare shirt.

“Mmm,” Jongdae mumbles. “I thought we were sleeping in the same place as yesterday?”

Baekhyun pouts at that, “That’s no fair. I get the worst spot.” He points to the reclining armchair. “Plus, why should Kyungsoo get the bed as a default.”

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo says.

His comment is drowned by Jongdae though, his voice loud if not a bit muffled by the pillow. “Not my fault you suck at rock paper scissors.” Baekhyun just pouts and heads back into the bathroom.

Kyungsoo gazes over to where Chanyeol is changing in his little corner, shivering when he takes off his shirt.

“That’s my shirt,” Kyungsoo says, snapping out of it when he sees Chanyeol in a black t-shirt with the spider-man logo in the corner. It’s childish, but his mom had brought it for him three birthdays’ ago and it was the perfect sleeping shirt—soft and worn in.

Chanyeol pouts, even as he steps out of his jeans and slips on a pair of soft shorts. “Can’t I wear it?”

“It’s mine,” Kyungsoo frowns. “And you’re stretching it out.” The shirt fits tight across Chanyeol’s chest, outlining the hard lines of his body. Kyungsoo pushes down the part of him that kinda likes it.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol whines, launching himself towards Kyungsoo. “Please let me wear the shirt. It’s already on my body.”

Kyungsoo pretends to shove him off, laughing when Chanyeol holds on to him like a koala.

“I’ll let you steal all the blankets,” Chanyeol says, holding on to Kyungsoo. “Please, Soo, I—”

“Bathroom’s open, were you gonna shower Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun says, walking out of the bathroom, skin tinged pink and hair pushed back with a headband.

“Yeah, yeah,” Kyungsoo says, pushing Chanyeol away easily this time.

♡♡♡

When Kyungsoo comes back out the overhead lights are off, only the light from a floor lamp illuminating the space. He tries to be as quiet as possible as he finishes getting ready for bed, crawling in next to Chanyeol.

Chanyeol whose rolled up on his side, blanket in a pile between his legs. Kyungsoo tugs at it a bit, but Chanyeol just makes a little noise, unbothered.

“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo whispers. “Blanket.”

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol murmurs, voice sleepy as he makes grabby hands up, trying to tug Kyungsoo to lay down.

“Chanyeol you’re hogging the blanket.”

“Hm,” Chanyeol murmurs, still pawing at Kyungsoo.

“Chanyeol.” Kyungsoo says, sharper this time.

Chanyeol blinks his eyes open, letting them adjust to the darkness before he says, “Kyungsoo?” An unasked question in his eyes as he looks at Kyungsoo quizzically.

“You’re hogging the blanket,” Kyungsoo says.

“Hm,” Chanyeol straightens himself out, tugging the blanket up and tucking himself in. Kyungsoo slides in next to him, smiling softly when Chanyeol cuddles up next to him, throwing an arm around his waist and pulling him closer.

“You wanna cuddle?” Chanyeol asks, his lips a ghost on Kyungsoo’s neck.

Kyungsoo pretends like his whole body hasn’t gone rigid, hopes Chanyeol can’t hear the way his heart is trying to beat out of his chest. “Go to sleep.” Kyungsoo breathes out, releasing the tension in his shoulders as Chanyeol giggles, nestles in impossibly closer.

He tries not to think about it too much when Chanyeol presses a kiss on the base of his neck, “Night Soo.”

“Goodnight.”

♡♡♡

“I can literally see your nipples through your shirt,” Jongdae says, sitting up and dropping his phone next to him. They’d walked all throughout London all day and Kyungsoo feels dead on his feet. His body melting into the armchair. Baekhyun’s friends had invited them to a house party and they were trying to rally. Well, Jongdae and Kyungsoo had been trying to rally; Chanyeol and Baekhyun had been in the bathroom blasting music and only coming out to take swigs at half-assed mixed drinks.

Kyungsoo blinks slowly watching Baekhyun walk out of the bathroom.

“That’s the fucking point—it’s sheer dumbass.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes, examining himself in the mirror hanging on the back of the door. The drag of the day had made them all a little meaner than usual, tired of spending all day together and being stuck in such close quarters. Kyungsoo pretends Baekhyun’s tone is playful even if there’s a little venom in the insult.

“Whats the point then?” Jongdae snaps, tone meeting Baekhyun’s.

Chanyeol comes out then, smile overtaking his face. Kyungsoo smiles at Chanyeol’s endless cheeriness. “Please look and compliment my eyeliner.”

Kyungsoo looks at the heavy liner that decorates Chanyeol’s eyes. Jongdae just rolls his eyes, flopping back down. “It’s just a fucking house party.”

“Stop being so negative.” Baekhyun says, tone cold. “Chanyeol your makeup looks great. I should know, I did it.”

“In that case, it looks terrible.” Jongdae says, back on his phone, not sparing a glance in Chanyeol’s direction.

Chanyeol pouts, eyes turning to Kyungsoo. “Do I look stupid? Does it look terrible?”

Before Kyungsoo can say anything, Baekhyun cuts in, “Don’t listen to Jongdae, he’s just jealous. Wouldn’t know beauty if it hit him in the face.”

Jongdae mumbles something under his breath and Baekhyun heads back into the bathroom, closing the door with more force than necessary. Kyungsoo feels a headache coming on. Chanyeol wanders towards the mirror hanging against the door, looking at his own face way too close.

“It looks fine,” Kyungsoo mumbles, already knowing Chanyeol’s picking it apart. There’s a dash of glitter on each eyelid, his skin glowing more than usual.

Chanyeol glances at him briefly before looking back at his face. He sighs, “I think it’s too late to try and take it all off anyway.”

“Plus, Baekhyun would kill you.”

“That too.” Chanyeol sighs again, grabs a beer from the counter and plops down next to Kyungsoo on the armchair.

It’s too small to fit both of them comfortably, both squeezed in. Kyungsoo doesn’t really mind. He gets to see Chanyeol’s make-up up close. Despite what Jongdae said, Baekhyun did a good job. He’d spread the glitter all over Chanyeol’s eyelids, heavier in the corners and ever so slight underneath. It highlighted the eyeliner, made Chanyeol’s eyes pop more if that is even possible.

Kyungsoo’s about to comment on it when Baekhyun walks out and throws a small package at Chanyeol. “Put these on, it goes with the look.”

It lands on Kyungsoo’s lap and Chanyeol grabs it, knuckles brushing against Kyungsoo’s thigh. “Contacts?” He wriggles out of the armchair, limbs flailing a bit as he manages to dislodge himself.

Baekhyun heads into the small kitchenette—preparing himself another mixed drink (if soda and disgusting amounts of vodka count as a mixed drink). 

Kyungsoo makes a face at the smell of the drink as Baekhyun comes over. Baekhyun sets his cup down gently on the coffee table and wiggles into the spot Chanyeol left behind. It’s decidedly less comfortable.

“Why are you so bony?” Kyungsoo makes a face, pushing Baekhyun away a little when Baekhyun latches on to his side.

Chanyeol comes out then, eyes a confusing steel grey color. “Do I look weird? It’s a little Halloween like?”

“You always look weird,” Jongdae says.

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, “You look great, Yeol.” He sits up a little and reaches for his drink, taking a swig.

Chanyeol looks expectantly at Kyungsoo, even with the contacts he seems like a puppy waiting for validation. Kyungsoo is hopeless enough to give it to him.

“They look cool,” he manages.

It’s all Chanyeol needs to hear before he bounds further into the room, sitting on top of Jongdae’s legs on the longer couch until Jongdae whines and kicks in an attempt to wriggle out.

“You idiot, you almost killed me.” Jongdae mumbles, shoving his feet into Chanyeol’s lap.

Chanyeol laughs, grabbing his beer from where he’d left it. “Stop being grumpy,” he tickles Jongdae a little but Jongdae just makes more whining sounds.

Baekhyun latches himself to Kyungsoo’s side, eyes dropping a bit.

“There’s no way you’re this drunk,” Chanyeol says, looking at Baekhyun. “What are you even drinking?” He leans over and snatches Baekhyun’s drink and taking a cursory sniff before sipping cautiously. “What the fuck is this, straight vodka?”

“Vodka soda,” Baekhyun smiles.

“It tastes like battery acid.” Chanyeol makes a face as he takes a small, hesitant sip. “Also, you cannot be this drunk.” Chanyeol stands up, shoving Jongdae’s feet off him and heading to the kitchenette still holding Baekhyun’s drink. He dumps it unceremoniously down the drain. “You’re the only one who fucking knows these people you cannot get this drunk this early.”

“He doesn’t give a fuck.” Jongdae says.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Baekhyun says, anger coloring his voice. “If you don’t wanna go then don’t fucking come.” He stands up then, drunk sleepiness forgotten.

“Fine,” Jongdae says, rolling over so his back is facing them.

“You’re such a goddamn child,” Baekhyun says. “Let’s go, grab a jacket Yeol.”

Chanyeol, frozen at the sink, scurries towards his luggage and grabs a jean jacket, throws another to Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo catches it, slipping into the faded black jean jacket as he chugs the last of his beer.

The tension in the air is palpable. Jongdae on the couch pretending he doesn’t exist, Baekhyun standing by the door as if waiting for his children to hurry up.

None of them talk as they make their way downstairs and into the London night. The jean jacket is perfect to protect Kyungsoo from the slight breeze. Chanyeol sticks close to him, Baekhyun a few steps ahead simmering in his anger. He’s murmuring something under his breath, and even though Kyungsoo can’t quite hear he knows he’s cursing Jongdae.

Chanyeol leans down after a few blocks, “Lover’s quarrel.”

“Hm?” Kyungsoo tips his face up at that, a little startled at just how close Chanyeol is.

“Jongdae’s jealous.”

“You think?” Kyungsoo had never really thought about it and he looks back at Baekhyun. “Of who though?

Chanyeol just laughs at that, eyes scrunching up.

♡♡♡

Kyungsoo doesn’t forget about what Chanyeol said about Baekhyun. Tried to think back if there had ever been a moment it had occurred to him—he was drawing a blank though but he knew there must have been a moment. They’ve known each other for four years, there must have been a moment.

He watches the way Baekhyun makes rounds around the room, seemingly knowing everyone. Arm around the host as they shoot back shots.

“Soo,” Chanyeol says dragging out the word and snapping Kyungsoo out of his reverie. “Pay attention to me, I’m wilting.”

“Don’t be dramatic.” Kyungsoo says, eyes moving away from where Baekhyun is talking energetically with a girl wearing a pink wig.

Chanyeol looks drunker than earlier and Kyungsoo wonders when and how. His make-up is still perfectly in-tact somehow.

“Are you in love with Baekhyun? You keep looking at him, do you think he’s pretty?” Chanyeol asks, the questions falling out breathlessly.

“What are you talking about?” Kyungsoo says, full attention on Chanyeol.

“Don’t be in love with Baekhyun.” Chanyeol looks earnest, drunk.

“I’m not, you idiot. How drunk are you?” Kyungsoo pulls Chanyeol towards the kitchen, he’s sure they can find some water.

“If you love Baekhyun I’ll tell Jongdae and he’ll beat you up.”

“I don’t love Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo says, finding an unopened water and shoving it in Chanyeol’s hands.

“Promise?”

“Please drink the water.”

“You have to promise Soo.” Chanyeol is still holding the water, eyes on Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo wishes he could read the look better, could understand. His head is pounding as he says, “I promise. Please. Water.”

Chanyeol opens it and sips slowly, under Kyungsoo’s watchful gaze.

“Will you come to the balcony with me?” Chanyeol says, twisting the cap back on the bottle.

“Do you feel okay? Nauseous?”

“Just need some air I think.” Chanyeol is looking at him with the steel gray contacts and Kyungsoo feels a bit dizzy under the intensity of his gaze.

“Lead the way,” he murmurs, breaking eye contact.

Chanyeol seems to sober up more after sitting outside for a bit. They sit in silence, enjoying the muffled music and the city lights. It’s nice, peaceful even. Kyungsoo feels a bit silly about not catching on to Jongdae and Baekhyun earlier, but he doesn’t really want to hear Chanyeol accuse him of being in love with Baekhyun. It’s weird having his two friends fight though—everything feels a bit off.

His fingers itch for a cigarette, if only to do something with his hands, to reminisce on drunken college nights. He doesn’t know how long they stay outside like that, Kyungsoo recalling every memory in college to fit the Baekhyun-Jongdae puzzle while Chanyeol drinks his water slowly, coming more into himself. It isn’t until Chanyeol reaches for his hand and squeezes once, pulling him up as he gets up, that Kyungsoo let’s go of the puzzle. Figures it doesn’t really matter. “Let’s find, Baek, yeah?”

Kyungsoo nods, fighting off a yawn as they head back inside. There’s less people inside, and they make the rounds keeping an eye out for Baekhyun. It’s not until they’ve circled the place twice with no luck that Kyungsoo begins to feel worried, concern fueled by Chanyeol’s increased panic about being left alone in a foreign country.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and grabs Chanyeol’s hand when he sees the host. A man with long hair that Baekhyun met while studying abroad his third year and had kept in touch with. Kyungsoo thinks the man’s name might be something like Josh or John or Jake—definitely a J somewhere. It doesn’t really matter though.

“Hey, uh, have you seen Baekhyun?”

“Oh my god, I told him there’s no way you’d ditch him! He left like half an hour ago? He thought you two left.” Jake or John says, looking between Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, shaking his head a little.

“We were on the balcony,” Chanyeol cuts in.

“That idiot,” Kyungsoo says.

Jake/John/Josh just laughs. “I told him.”

Chanyeol grins sheepishly, “We should probably head out—thank you for having us.”

“It was good to meet you guys. If you guys are ever in London again feel free to hit me up—you know, any friend of Baekhyun is a friend of mine.” The guy smiles before wandering off. Kyungsoo appreciates the thought but there’s no way he would ever randomly show up at this man’s apartment again.

“Can’t believe that idiot left without us.” Kyungsoo mumbles.

“Did he text you?” Chanyeol says, leading them out of the apartment.

Kyungsoo checks his messages, but there’s nothing. “Idiot.” He repeats.

♡♡♡

Chanyeol shoves the key into the gate for the apartment complex, shivering slightly. The temperature had dropped significantly.

Kyungsoo silently follows him upstairs, grabbing his phone to read out the passcode to the front door from his notes. The low beep lets them know when it unlocks and Chanyeol turns the handle upwards just like the airbnb hostess had instructed.

“Fuck!” Chanyeol yells, shoving Kyungsoo out of the way in his haste to cover his eyes. “What the fuck guys—we’re sharing a fucking studio you cannot be fucking.”

Kyungsoo was trying to look at anything but Jongdae’s white ass and Baekhyun’s bare legs. It was like a train wreck right in front of his eyes though.

“Get out!” Jongdae yells back, grabbing a pillow and throwing it in their general direction.

“This is a shared studio! Fuck! Have some respect!” Chanyeol says, even as he shoves Kyungsoo out into the hallway.

It wasn’t until they’re back outside that either of them speaks again. “At least they’re not fighting.” Kyungsoo tries.

“They’re disgusting,” Chanyeol grimaces. “Is there nothing sacred anymore? I swear...” He shoves his hands deep into his jeans pocket and angles his head. “We passed a bar like two blocks that way—should we wait there?”

Kyungsoo nods, following as Chanyeol leads the way.

“Did I ever tell you about the time my sophomore year roommate fucked someone while I pretended to sleep in the bed next to them?”

“What?” Chanyeol sputters, slowing down to look at Kyungsoo. “Why would you pretend?”

“I woke up and they were fucking and I just had to lay there and pretend.”

Chanyeol bursts out laughing, swinging an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders and bringing him closer.

♡♡♡

The bar isn’t too packed, mostly small groups who aren’t quite ready for the night to end. They find a booth near the front by the windows and Chanyeol goes to the bar to get a drink.

Kyungsoo takes the opportunity to text Baekhyun and Jongdae.

**Kyungsoo:** I’m giving u both 30 min... I’m serious

He sets an alarm and sends a screenshot of it for good measure.

Chanyeol comes back with two small glasses of what Kyungsoo can only assume is vodka lemonade. His stomach rolls at the thought, despite barely drinking.

As if reading his thoughts Chanyeol smiles slightly slipping into the booth across from Kyungsoo “It’s just lemonade. Managed to pull some strings.”

Kyungsoo stops himself from teasing Chanyeol and instead takes the drink thankfully, letting the cold, tart liquid calm him as he takes a sip.

“Have I said how happy I am that we’re here?”

“Only like a million times,” Kyungsoo teases kindly.

“I really am, Soo. I mean it.” Chanyeol says, his eyes are wide and honest and Kyungsoo feels something tug at his heart. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to do grad school without you.”

“You can still bother me as much as you want,” Kyungsoo says quietly, focusing on anything but Chanyeol.

“You know it’s not the same,” Chanyeol says.

“I know.” Kyungsoo says, he still can’t look at Chanyeol. He feels his throat tighten up and he takes a small sip of his drink. He doesn’t know how to explain just how much he’ll miss Chanyeol. It’s happening soon—they’ll be living in separate states.

“Is it stupid to be scared?” Chanyeol asks, voice small.

“Of course not, Yeol.” Kyungsoo says, looking up, watching the water pool in the corner of Chanyeol’s eyes. “Not stupid.”

Chanyeol takes a slow breath and nods, looks up and gives a watery smile. “Not stupid.”

♡♡♡

The studio is quiet when they walk in forty-five minutes later. Jongdae and Baekhyun a pile under a heavy comforter on the couch. Chanyeol starts on removing all the make-up and Kyungsoo crawls into bed, letting the tiredness of the day drag his eyes shut.

♡♡♡  
  


They sleep in the next morning, even with the sun glaring in through the blinds, none of them are willing to let sleep go.

It’s not until Jongdae wakes up and starts making noise in the kitchen that Kyungsoo finally stirs, blinking slowly as his eyes adjust to the room.

Chanyeol is sitting up, looking just as disoriented as Kyungsoo feels and Kyungsoo lets himself snuggle closer, takes in how Chanyeol smells like fresh laundry and sandalwood as he closes his eyes again.

♡♡♡

He doesn’t know how late it is later until he wakes up and the sun peeking through the blinds is at a strange angle. Chanyeol’s sitting in the armchair, still wearing the spider-man t-shirt and his sleeping shorts. His eyes focused on his phone. The TV in the room is on, muted.

“Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo’s voice sounds weak to his own ears and he clears his throat.

“Kyungsoo! You’re up!” The energy is a dead giveaway that Chanyeol must have been up for hours.

“What time is it?”

“Four pm, but I think jet lag finally caught up to you.” Chanyeol smiles knowingly. “Or do you feel sick?”

“Jet lag,” Kyungsoo says, sighing when he realizes he’s probably fucked his sleeping schedule for the rest of the trip.

“Jongdae and Baekhyun went out to sight-see some more.” Chanyeol provides.

“You should have woken me up,” Kyungsoo murmurs. “I’m sorry I wasted a day sleeping.”

“I don’t mind.” Chanyeol smiles softly. “Plus, they were all over each other—it was gross anyway.”

“I’m happy for them.” Kyungsoo says, watching Chanyeol carefully.

“Are you hungry? I can make something—or we can order?”

“Let’s order.” Kyungsoo says.

♡♡♡

They have Chinese food from a restaurant nearby. The airbnb hostess had a pile of restaurant brochures in a kitchen drawer and they had poured over them endlessly. By the end they had settled on Chinese food—it was the cheapest and they boasted a thirty-minute delivery time on the brochure.

They squeeze into the armchair, neither wanting to go near the couch after last night. They eat as they mindlessly watch a show on TV. The plot line is a bit hard to follow, but the acting isn’t bad and they end up watching two episodes.

“Baekhyun and Jongdae fly home tomorrow and I feel bad wasting a day sleeping,” Kyungsoo says when Baekhyun texts Chanyeol that they’re on their way home and if they want anything from the Indian restaurant they had stopped at.

“Think they probably liked being together alone, don’t you think? Can’t believe I was third-wheeling before you got here.” Chanyeol says, glancing up from his phone and smiling kindly at Kyungsoo. “I wouldn’t feel bad. Plus, wasn’t I a worthy replacement for Baek and Dae?”

“I don’t know about worthy,” Kyungsoo teases, letting Chanyeol’s reassurances wash over him.

Chanyeol laughs, tickling Kyungsoo’s side momentarily before Kyungsoo pinches Chanyeol’s side, digging his fingers into Chanyeol’s skin in the way he knows will make him twist and laugh. Chanyeol laughs as he falls to the floor and pushes Kyungsoo’s hand away half-heartedly.

“It was nice to spend time just us two though, right?” Chanyeol’s sincerity is clear, eyes wide like a puppy.

Kyungsoo pretends those words don’t shoot straight through him, twist his heart. He wants to play it off, but the honesty in Chanyeol’s eyes stop him. “Yeah,” he breathes out instead.

♡♡♡

Baekhyun and Jongdae want to go clubbing. The two are bright and energetic, flushed from happiness and all over each other. Kyungsoo feels happy for his friends, but still a little nauseous when they start teasing each other and groping each other. Chanyeol fake gags.

The club they go to is reminiscent of their many days out in college. Strobe lights and shitty remixes with drinks that are more shitty alcohol than anything else. They’re cheap though, and that’s really all that matters.

The floor is sticky and the bodies are packed in, dancing in unison. Kyungsoo tries not to clam up, feeling out-of-place despite himself, body tense even as he follows his friends to the bar.

Chanyeol sets a reassuring hand on his back and Kyungsoo center himself on the warmth that radiates out from Chanyeol’s palm. Tries not to think about much of anything other than the beat of the music and his friends.

Baekhyun declares the first round on him only to order tequila shots. Jongdae groans even as he shoots it back. Kyungsoo hesitates for half-a-second while Baekhyun groans about them doing them _together Jongdae_. The alcohol burns his throat and his stomach twists, he takes a deep breath immediately pushing closer towards the bar to get a drink, anything at all.

Chanyeol hesitates more, eyeing both Jongdae and Kyungsoo wearily as he cheers with Baekhyun. Kyungsoo laughs when Chanyeol fake gags, face scrunching up as he coughs. Baekhyun is in a similar state, shaking his head back and forth as if he had just been submerged in cold water.

Chanyeol sets his shotglass down and hooks his chin on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, bending down as he wraps his arm around Kyungsoo, “Buy me a drink.”

♡♡♡

Kyungsoo had lost track of his friends. Chanyeol had gone to the bathroom at some point and then Baekhyun and Jongdae had started dancing together and Kyungsoo had wandered off, ordered himself a drink. He’d gone back to where he’d seen Baek and Dae last but they were gone. He thought about texting the group, but instead had headed back to the bar, sat in a stool and sipped slowly.

He’s not sure how long he sits there for, the music pounding as he people watches. There’s some sort of birthday party outing—a girl wearing a sash and a fake crown as she dances among her friends. He figures it’s her first time drinking out in a club legally, all her friends are too excited and they all have baby-faces.

He’s ordering another drink, resolved to go and find his friends when he feels a hand snake around his body, distinctly long limbs holding on to him even as Kyungsoo stiffens up.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol breathes. “Where have you been?”

Kyungsoo finishes ordering, singing his receipt before he turns around. Chanyeol wiggles so that he could continue to cuddle Kyungsoo. He smells like alcohol and the tips of his ears are red.

“Stop being silly,” Kyungsoo says, trying to disentangle himself.

Chanyeol just makes a little noise in the back of his throat, waits until Kyungsoo has his new drink in hand to say, “Let’s dance.”

Kyungsoo takes a small sip, holds his drink delicately as he follows Chanyeol. Neither of them are necessarily the best of dancers, but it’s not really about dancing. As long as you can jump around and bounce with the crowd and the beat it’s enough. They dance like that for a while, sharing Kyungsoo’s drink between the two of them.

It’s so much like college that it makes Kyungsoo’s heart twist at the thought that it’s all over. At the end of this trip he’d be flying home to Texas, all his stuff in San Francisco had been shipped back or sold. His parents had come a weekend before his internship ended, helping him move out. He’d been living on Baekhyun’s empty apartment for his last week in the city.

After all this was over Chanyeol and the rest of his friends would still be in town. Jongdae, Baek, Chanyeol, and him had all graduated last month. Jongdae had moved in back with his parents, but even he was only in San Jose—close enough that it wasn’t really a move. Chanyeol too had moved back in with his parents, choosing that over graduate housing when he started graduate school in the Fall. He was still close though, _‘only the Bay Bridge away’_ he had said. Baekhyun had managed to land a job at a start-up, was able to keep his apartment which he shared with one too many roommates. Sehun and Jongin still had a year to go each, and would be living in the city.

Everyone would be in the area and he would be states away—in a different time zone.

“Stop thinking,” Chanyeol says, getting closer to be heard over the music.

Kyungsoo shakes his head a bit, as if to say _I wasn’t_. Chanyeol gives him a look like he knows better.

He doesn’t have the chance to say anything before Baekhyun is crashing into him, wrapping his arms around Chanyeol. He’s drunk and his hair is everywhere and his lips look puffy and red. Jongdae looks similar, although less drunk and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, understanding passing through him.

♡♡♡

They get home late, Baekhyun and Jongdae refusing to leave before last calls, both wanting to hold on to their last night in London. It had been a nightmare finding a taxi, too many people spilling out of bars and clubs trying for the same taxis.

It’s not until they walk a few blocks in the general direction of their airbnb that they manage to get a taxi. Kyungsoo squeezing into the backseat before someone pushes him to the front, he presses against the window, closes his eyes tuning out as Jongdae whines about being in the passenger seat.

Baekhyun’s squeezed in the middle, cold fingers wrapping around the back of Kyungsoo’s neck, bringing him closer and Kyungsoo wiggles away, knees knocking against Baekhyun’s thigh in his attempt to get away. Baekhyun giggles, flopping back into Chanyeol who is leaning forward, saying something to the cab driver that Kyungsoo is too tired to grasp on to.

Jongdae says something else, and Chanyeol and the cab driver laugh. Baekhyun’s left his weight rest on Chanyeol, eyes slipping close and Kyungsoo reaches over, tickles him with more force than necessary.

“No one is carrying you up to the apartment if you fall asleep,” he warns.

Baekhyun pouts, tries to move away from Kyungsoo and closer to Chanyeol. The cab car is only so big though, his attempts to get away from Kyungsoo unsuccessful. He makes an offended noise and shoves Kyungsoo’s hands away, eyes open. He grins at him though even as he whines, “It’s my last night and you’d let me sleep on the concrete?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo says.

Baekhyun grins wider at that, scooting over to lay his head against Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “You’ll miss me.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t answer him. But he doesn’t bother pushing him away.

♡♡♡

Jongdae and Baekhyun have an early afternoon flight. They’re rushing though, they’d all woken up late.

Baekhyun’s crying by the time they get to the airport, small tears rolling out as he sniffles and swipes at them angrily. Chanyeol and Jongdae drag the luggage, Jongdae holds Baekhyun’s hand.

“I’m not even sad,” Baekhyun mumbles, swiping angrily at his eyes with his sleeves. “I’m just hungover.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and Jongdae smiles softly.

They don’t have much time. They check-in quickly, splurging on checking in their luggage as well. They had only come to London so packing lightly for further travel hadn’t been a concern. They loiter around security for a few minutes, sitting on a bench as they watch other travelers line-up to go through security.

“You’re gonna have to come visit, Soo. I swear.” Baekhyun says, no longer pretending there aren’t tears in his eyes.

Jongdae has an arm wrapped around Baekhyun, holding him close as if they were the ones saying good-bye. Chanyeol is standing awkwardly in front of them, the bench too small. He’s shifting his weight from foot to foot, looking anxiously at Baekhyun. Kyungsoo knows he’ll shed a few tears once Baekhyun and Jongdae are gone.

“Maybe you guys can visit me in Texas,” Kyungsoo jokes. He’d offered once seriously, sophomore year of college. Except everyone had thought it was a joke, _Texas_ they had said with such scorn Kyungsoo had felt slightly offended. In the end, Chanyeol had been the only one to go. He’d invited himself, earnest tone and puppy eyes as he’d asked. _My family won’t be here for Thanksgiving and Jongdae’s relatives are always so uptight and Sehun’s out of town… Please Kyungsoo._ Kyungsoo had loved having Chanyeol around, showing him around his hometown, having him meet his parents in person, having him meet his childhood best friend, how easily and seamlessly Chanyeol fit into his life in Texas. 

Baekhyun pulls a face, but hugs Kyungsoo, Jongdae’s arm stuck between them. He sniffles some more before he takes a deep breath and stands up.

“Take care, send lots of pictures, and note all the must-hit spots for me.” Baekhyun says, looking at Chanyeol seriously. Chanyeol nods eagerly and Kyungsoo knows Chanyeol will follow-through—will send ridiculous amounts of pictures to Baekhyun and Baekhyun will appreciate each one.

Then they’re saying their final good-byes. Baekhyun promising to pick up Chanyeol from the airport. Jongdae reminding them to take care of Sehun and Jongin. Baekhyun whispering to Chanyeol to embarrass Junmyeon at least once.

They watch them go through security, waving at them once they’re through.

♡♡♡

They have a late lunch/early dinner at their airbnb. Chanyeol puts on a movie and Kyungsoo is too lost in his thoughts to follow the plot line properly.

It feels weird not knowing when the next time he’ll see either of his friends will be. He doesn’t want to think about it, yet it’s all he can think about.

Chanyeol must read his mood because he doesn’t offer commentary throughout the movie like he normally would. Instead watching with rapt attention, eating his noodles quietly.

It’s not until the movie ends when the credits start rolling, food long forgotten that Chanyeol speaks. He clears his throat as if reminding Kyungsoo of where he’s at, giving him a moment to come back.

“Did you want to do something tonight?”

They hadn’t done anything all day other than go to the airport and get food. He’s not in the mood to do much of anything, but he doesn’t want to waste any time he has left with Chanyeol. So he nods, “Yeah, what did you have in mind?”

Chanyeol shrugs, picking up their mess from the coffee table and walking it to the kitchenette. “Up to you.”

♡♡♡

They end up in a new club.

Chanyeol had suggested they go to a pub, _‘immerse themselves in the culture’_ and Kyungsoo had rolled his eyes. Had pointed out that clubs were just as much ‘the culture’ as pubs. He’d push for it, Chanyeol looking at him wearily. Kyungsoo didn’t know how to explain he didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to sit in some pub nursing a beer. He wanted to get drunk, to lose the uneasiness he’d felt since coming back from the airport.

Chanyeol had agreed, at first reluctant, until Kyungsoo had spewed some half-assed bullshit about starting their first night of their trip alone right.

The club is just as packed as the day before, even though it’s a different club this time it’s in the same district, people flooding the streets on their night out.

This club is less of an open warehouse concept and more of a house turned club. It’s divided into different rooms, all of them packed with people, the whole place pulsing along with the bass.

Chanyeol snakes an arm around Kyungsoo, bringing him close as he maneuvers them to the bar, pushing past people, his height advantageous. Kyungsoo doesn’t keep track of his drinks, both of them buying each other shots until the music is bearable, the sweaty bodies no longer an issue.

A couple of giggling girls press themselves on to Chanyeol, a bright red fingernail running down Kyungsoo’s arm. He tries not to move away, tries to smile and nod along to whatever they’re saying. It’s easy with the alcohol.

Pink lips moving silently, the music too loud. He points up, as if the music were coming from Heaven and then to his ear, hopes it’s enough to say _I can’t hear you_. The girl gets it, leans in forward, lips practically on his ear as she says, “Let me buy you a drink.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to say, nods dumbly as the girl moves toward the bar, her hand still clutching on to his arm.

She yells over the music, “Tequila?”

He’d been drinking vodka. Knows better than to mix. But he nods.

Chanyeol’s watching him with dark eyes and Kyungsoo turns away, presses next to the girl at the bar as she orders four tequila shots. She grins at him as the bartender turns to get the shot glasses.

“I’m Kyungsoo,” he says.

He’s not sure if she hears him, she smiles at him. “You’re cute.”

The bartender pushes their drinks towards them, takes the bill the girl hands and pockets the change when she waves him off. She smiles at Kyungsoo as she hands him a drink, turns to hand one to Chanyeol, and one to her friend—a short brunette with bangs.

Chanyeol eyes the shot wearily like it’s poisoned. The girl wraps a hand around Kyungsoo’s arm and Kyungsoo’s not normally one to allow such easiness with strangers but he lets it, her body is warm pressed against his side. They cheer, careful not to spill any alcohol and shoot them. Chanyeol hesitating before he does.

The girl with bangs laughs, sets down her shot glass on the counter and tugs at her friend a bit. “Let’s dance,” she yells over the music, giggling.

Kyungsoo feels the girl next to him disentangle herself, she sets down her glass carefully, and then reaches up, lips on his ear again as she says, “Come find me later.”

He’s tempted, he’s really tempted as she walks away. Wants to follow her and dance and drink tequila and forget about going back to Texas.

If it weren’t for Chanyeol he would follow her right then, not bother to dance, push her up somewhere and let her help him lose himself. But Chanyeol is right there, eyes big and wide, and tugging at Kyungsoo’s shirt. “Why’d you let her buy tequila?” He’s whining, but there’s something else in his tone Kyungsoo can’t recognize—doesn’t want to recognize.

Kyungsoo just shrugs, turns back to the bar to motion for the bartender.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol’s weight is on him, heavy. Kyungsoo tries to shake him off, but it only makes Chanyeol hold on tighter. He doesn’t move even as Kyungsoo orders four more shots, the bartender raising a single eyebrow.

“Chanyeol, people are staring.” People are not staring but Kyungsoo needs him off. He doesn’t know what to do with the heaviness in his chest, the anger and sadness he feels about how this is all a goodbye.

Chanyeol whines softly as he straightens out, pouts when the bartender sets down four shots and Kyungsoo hands over a bill, pretends he’s okay.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol says again. “Don’t leave me.”

Kyungsoo pauses at that, turns around slowly as he considers Chanyeol’s words. Tries not to let his heart race with what he wishes it all meant. Wishes it was what he wants it to mean. “I’m not, you’re dancing with us.” He settles on, tiredness washing over him.

Chanyeol looks like he wants to say more, but Kyungsoo can’t read him, won’t make eye contact afraid of what he’ll find. He hands Chanyeol two shots, turns back around to get the other two shots.

It doesn’t happen in slow motion, it’s fast—almost too fast. Kyungsoo feels a bit like he’d gotten whiplash, has to blink twice before he understands what happened. His brain slowing down.

Chanyeol’s wincing, two empty shot glasses now in his hands, mouth twisted and eyes watery. He looks on the verge of tears.

“What the fuck?” Kyungsoo can’t help if his voice is harsher than he meant.

“Kyungsoo, don’t leave me.”

“Chanyeol, you ass. Buy two more.” Kyungsoo’s still holding on to the two tequila shots that are left. He’s scared to set them down afraid he’ll punch Chanyeol. He’s scared to keep holding them though, body shaking with the urge to punch Chanyeol.

“No,” Chanyeol says, sticking out his lower lip like a child. He crosses his arms to add insult to injury and Kyungsoo really wants to punch him.

“What the fuck, Chanyeol. You’re acting like a child.”

“You are.”

Kyungsoo tries to remind himself Chanyeol’s drunk (they both are), his eyes hazy and ears red. He takes a deep breath and sets down the two shot glasses, spilling a little on his hand. He doesn’t care, wipes it carelessly on his jeans. Chanyeol’s watching him with wide eyes. Kyungsoo reaches over and tugs at his ear, hard. Chanyeol makes a little noise in the back of his throat and Kyungsoo lets go.

“Why do you wanna ditch me?” Chanyeol asks, voice like a child.

“I wasn’t going to ditch you, you idiot.” Kyungsoo sighs.

“We’re in a whole other country, I could get lost and you wanted to leave me,” Chanyeol says, pawing at Kyungsoo’s shirt. “I thought we were friends.”

“We are, you big baby.” Kyungsoo says, rolling his eyes. He can feel himself softening, never one to stay mad at Chanyeol for long. He likes to pretend sometimes though.

Chanyeol’s looking at him with his puppy eyes and Kyungsoo wants to tell him that it doesn’t work. Instead he grabs a shot, shoots it back. Winces as the alcohol burns his throat. Shoots the second one back.

“Are we going to dance or what?” He tries to keep his voice hard, his throat screaming at him.

Chanyeol grins, tugging Kyungsoo in the opposite direction from where the girls had gone, weaving past people and into the darkness.

Kyungsoo lets himself be tugged along, pretends like the room isn’t spinning a bit. Let’s Chanyeol press his body near him; lets the song roll through him. The lyrics keep slipping through his fingers, not sure what the singer is saying but Chanyeol bounces along, screaming along with everyone else. His eyes are shiny and Kyungsoo turns away. He thinks of soft pink lips and red fingernails and long, black hair. Closes his eyes as he feels Chanyeol press closer, his body heating up.

“Kyungsoo,” and it’s Chanyeol’s lips against his ear and Kyungsoo moves away even as his body shivers, betraying him.

“Kyungsoo,” and Chanyeol is still right there again, unaware, moving closer. His lips are pressed against the shell of Kyungsoo’s ear, arms wrapping around his waist. Everything too close, too warm, too intimate.

“Kyungsoo,” and it’s Chanyeol. It’s always been Chanyeol.

“I’m so drunk,” he’s giggling against Kyungsoo’s ear, let’s his body hug Kyungsoo closer.

“Shouldn’t have had the two shots.” Kyungsoo tries to bite back, but his words are soft, unsteady.

Chanyeol furrows his eyebrows at him, straightens up a little bit, still too close, still holding on to Kyungsoo. “Kyungsoo.” He looks like he wants to say something, eyes unreadable in the dark but searching.

And then someone’s knocking into them, pushed against them. Two girls much too drunk, wrapped up in another, giggling as their friend reaches over and helps them straighten them up. Apologizing to Chanyeol and Kyungsoo even if the music is too loud. It breaks the moment; whatever moment it was that Kyungsoo couldn’t read. Chanyeol turning and nodding to the friend apologizing.

  
Even when the group of three leaves them the moment is lost, whatever words Chanyeol was going to say gone. Lost.

♡♡♡

Kyungsoo doesn’t know who initiates. Can barely remember how they got home. Remembers being in the back of a car, stumbling in the sidewalk and being yelled at. He doesn’t remember paying attention the details, too consumed in Chanyeol.

Chanyeol’s heat near his, warmth radiating between their bodies. Chanyeol’s hand in his hand, Chanyeol’s fingers tracing patterns against his knuckles, against his skin. His fingers calloused and rough but palms soft. Kyungsoo’s own hands trailing over Chanyeol’s arm, cold palms travelling up Chanyeol’s back even as Chanyeol wriggles away, mumbles something or other.

All Kyungsoo can think about as they stumble into the studio is pushing Chanyeol against the nearest surface and taking him, consuming him whole.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol mumbles. The studio is dark but the streetlights outside are pooling in, the blinds open. “Kyungsoo, please.” Chanyeol says again, dragging Kyungsoo closer, hesitating.

Kyungsoo doesn’t hesitate, takes more than he probably should as he pushes his body against Chanyeol’s, stumbling into the bed they’d been sharing during their time in London. Chanyeol’s hair creating a halo around his face.

Kyungsoo pauses, eyes taking in Chanyeol under him—so, so pretty.

“Soo?” Chanyeol’s voice is small, hesitant, eyes flickering open as he looks up to him.

“You’re beautiful,” Kyungsoo says before he can stop himself.

Chanyeol’s cheeks are a soft pink, hands reaching up to bring Kyungsoo down, kissing him just as soft. It’s a sharp contrast from their wandering hands. Kyungsoo wants to cry a little—this isn’t how he thought it’d ever be with Chanyeol, but even so, he wouldn’t trade it for anything else. Thinks he could live in the moment forever.

“Can I?” Chanyeol’s pulling away, hands trailing down the length of Kyungsoo’s body, rough fingers hesitating at the waistband of Kyungsoo’s jeans.

“God,” Kyungsoo mumbles, nodding as his forehead rests against Chanyeol’s shoulder when Chanyeol’s fingers brush against his skin.

Chanyeol’s movements are so tender, every touch soft as he makes Kyungsoo cry out against him, gripping Chanyeol’s arms as he unravels.

♡♡♡

His knee is throbbing and the sun is slanting through the window. He rolls over, away from Chanyeol’s too warm body. He has a vague memory of stumbling; he must have fallen at some point.

He wants to get up and take some ibuprofen for it but his head is throbbing too much, the room spinning. He tries to take a few calming breaths, feels like at any point he’ll puke.

“Soo?” Chanyeol’s voice sounds gravely.

“Did I fall last night?” Kyungsoo says. He’s still trying not to puke, he can’t even move enough to reach for his phone, a few feet away from the bed on the ground. He wonders if they’ve missed their train to Paris. The fact that his phone isn’t buzzing incessantly with texts from Junmyeon, who is supposed to pick them up in Paris, is enough to let him know that they at least haven’t been missed.

But then again maybe his phone is dead. He groans, finally sitting up. The room spins faster and he holds on to Chanyeol’s arm nearby to steady himself.

Chanyeol’s quiet. “Are you okay?”

“I think I fell.” Kyungsoo says, his knee is still throbbing.

“I don’t—I don’t remember,” Chanyeol mumbles.

Kyungsoo hums, barely listening as he tries to remember when the last time he ate was. He holds his breath as he reaches for Chanyeol’s phone, closer than his own. It’s barely half past eight. They have enough time to get their shit together before their train. He sighs, laying back down carefully.

“Do you wanna shower first?”

Chanyeol’s silent and Kyungsoo thinks he might have fallen asleep again, he turns his head but Chanyeol’s just looking at him, eyes wide. He blushes when Kyungsoo looks over, cheeks a soft dusty color, ears bright red.

“Are you okay?”

“Are we—?” Chanyeol starts, he bites his lip and Kyungsoo tears his gaze away. “Last night?”

Kyungsoo closes his eyes, his head is pounding too much to have this conversation. He doesn’t even know what conversation it is.

_Hey I know we’re travelling Europe together as friends, and I know we’ve only ever been best friends and you only see me as your best friend, and I know I don’t actually know what I’m doing with my life and we won’t even be in the same state in a few weeks but I kinda like you? I’ve had a stupid big crush on you all through college but I valued our friendship too much to have ever done anything but anyway do you like me too?_

Instead he says, “Chanyeol, can we talk about this later? I feel like a hammer is pounding into my skull.” He just wants to buy himself some time.

“Yeah, later.” Chanyeol says, soft.

Kyungsoo squeezes his eyes tighter, wills the tears back. He can feel Chanyeol’s gaze on him. “My knee really hurts.” He says, hoping it’ll explain anything.

“I’ll get ibuprofen,” Chanyeol moves around him, standing up easily. Kyungsoo presses his face against the pillow as he hears Chanyeol moving around. He feels the bed dip shortly after, Chanyeol coaxing him to sit up, “Sip slowly, here’s the pills.”

Kyungsoo takes it gratefully, drinks water as if he had been wandering the desert for forty years.

Chanyeol moves away, gets his stuff ready to shower. He’s moving slowly, hesitating as if he wants to say more.

It’s when he turns around, clutching a white t-shirt, mouth open, that Kyungsoo speaks. Needs to speak before their friendship is ruined, before Chanyeol reads him too well and _knows_. Knows his feelings are more than platonic. He’s too hungover to have an actual conversation about it, doesn’t want this to change anything. Not now.

So he says, “Chanyeol. It doesn’t have to mean anything.” _If you don’t want it to. Do you want it to?_

Chanyeol doesn’t say anything so Kyungsoo squeezes his eyes shut, pretends Chanyeol isn’t there. “We were drunk.”

“We were drunk,” Chanyeol says, voice soft, words separated as if trying to understand what Kyungsoo’s saying.

“It’s okay, right?” Kyungsoo asks, his voice just as small. He doesn’t know what he wants Chanyeol to say. Doesn’t want it to be treated like such a throwaway even as he speaks and says the opposite. Doesn’t want it to not be okay though—to end the friendship over some misguided feelings.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol says. Kyungsoo pretends the word doesn’t chip a little at his heart.

Kyungsoo only opens his eyes when he hears the water in the shower start, takes a shuddery breath.

**_Paris_ **

The train ride is quiet, Kyungsoo drifting in and out of consciousness. His eyes feel heavy, head still pounding a bit. His leg is resting on Chanyeol’s lap, Chanyeol tracing little patterns on his shin. He tries not to think about the domesticity of it all.

Junmyeon’s there to greet them, smiling widely as he wraps them up each in a hug. He laughs as he says, “You both look like shit.”

Kyungsoo swipes at him half-heartedly even as they all laugh along. He doesn’t fight Junmyeon when he takes his small carry-on. His body feels exhausted, like he’s aged twenty years in the span of twenty-four hours.

Junmyeon and his parents had been kind enough to rent a hotel room for them (despite many, many protests). Junmyeon was sharing with his older brother and Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were supposed to share with one another.

Kyungsoo still wasn’t sure how much of this part of their trip was going to be them tagging along Junmyeon’s family trip versus how much would be them dragging Junmyeon away from his family. Either way, he was excited. He’d been to Paris once before (when he was fifteen and with his parents), but there was so much he hadn’t appreciated at the time that he was excited to see again.

The hotel was nice, location ideal for tourists. Junmyeon shows them to their room and flops down on the single armchair in the corner, turning on the TV for background noise.

“How was London? How were Baek and Dae?”

“They’re dating,” Chanyeol says conspiratorially, grinning.

Kyungsoo sits down on the bed closer to the door, rubbing at his knee.

Chanyeol must notice because he moves over and sits next to him, rubbing Kyungsoo’s lower thigh as if that would help his knee. Kyungsoo feels his face burn even as Chanyeol continues speaking, explaining the house party and walking in on them. Kyungsoo finds that sometimes Chanyeol adds too much detail, loses himself in the story, but it’s endearing.

Junmyeon’s nodding along, eyes flickering to where Chanyeol’s rubbing Kyungsoo’s thigh. Kyungsoo wants to move away but he also doesn’t know how to do so without revealing how much it’s affecting him.

Almost as if finally noticing that he’s not massaging a knee at all, Chanyeol moves his arm away, “Kyungsoo fell yesterday. We think. He was really drunk.”

“We both were.” Kyungsoo adds as if that makes it any better. He feels a bit like a fuck-up, the hotel almost too nice for how gross he feels.

Junmyeon nods as he stands, “I’m supposed to sit through some meeting with my parents in half an hour, but we’re all having dinner at seven. Mom already set the reservations so please be there. It’s just at the hotel restaurant.” He leaves with that, the TV left on.

Chanyeol looks over at Kyungsoo then. They’re still sitting next to each other, too close and Kyungsoo stands, moves away.

“I think I’m gonna take a hot shower, or maybe a bath. Think it’ll help the soreness in my knee.” He can’t meet Chanyeol’s eyes.

Chanyeol makes a little noise, looking away as well, attention moving to the TV.

Kyungsoo ends up taking a shower. Stands under the hot water until he goes wrinkly like a prune. He pads out at a half hour before seven, remembering the reservations.

The room is dark, heavy curtains drawn against the late afternoon sun. Chanyeol’s on the bed closest to the door, curled up. He’s snoring softly and Kyungsoo feels his heart squeeze. He wants to wrap him up and hold him forever.

Instead he dresses himself quietly. It’s not until it’s fifteen minutes to seven that he wakes up Chanyeol. Pushing back the curtains and letting the light flood the room.

“Soo?” Chanyeol’s blinking against the light, voice gruff. “What time is it?”

“You need to get ready for dinner.”

Chanyeol stretches, swings his legs out and stares at Kyungsoo sleepily. “You look nice.”

Kyungsoo’s wearing a gray sweater—the nicest article of clothing he’d brought along. “Thanks.” He feels frozen in his spot near the window, under Chanyeol’s gaze.

“Does your knee feel better?”

Kyungsoo nods, his throat feels dry. “Yeah,” he croaks out.

“I should get dressed,” Chanyeol says, finally tearing his gaze away and stumbling sleepily towards where he’d dropped his luggage. His hair is sticking up crazily and Kyungsoo again wants to wrap him up, wants to hug him and never let go.

♡♡♡

They’re five minutes late. Junmyeon’s family is already seated, two empty chairs waiting for them.

Kyungsoo apologizes, making sure to avoid eye contact with Junmyeon. Junmyeon’s parents pay no mind, welcoming them excitedly. Junmyeon’s mom frets over how thin they’ve gotten (although Kyungsoo doesn’t necessarily think so).

Conversation over dinner is lively, whatever meeting they’d had earlier had gone well. There’s two bottles of wine on the table and then Junmyeon’s dad ordering a bottle of champagne for the table, _‘to celebrate’_ he’d joked when Mrs. Kim had slapped his arm playfully.

The whole table is having a good time, Junmyeon’s brother talking about something Kyungsoo can’t focus on, only catches snippets of. They’d gone wine tasting and there’d been a funny server or something. He gives up when he feels Chanyeol’s warm palm on his lower thigh again, rubbing circles. Kyungsoo assumes it’s the persistent headache and how he’d been hungover just a few hours earlier when he feels his face heat up. The alcohol hitting him hard.

It’s not even on the same leg of his sore knee. He doesn’t mind though, let’s his knee knock into Chanyeol’s, welcoming the touch. He takes a swig of his wine glass, trying not to wince at the bitterness.

He stares straight ahead, nods along, pretends to be enraptured in whatever Junmyeon’s brother is saying. Pretends there isn’t fingers tracing the inner seam of his jeans, hesitant fingers tracing patterns. Can recognize the K-Y-U-N-G-S-O-O being written on his thigh.

He only reacts when Chanyeol’s fingers get too high. Kyungsoo’s own hand settling on top of Chanyeol’s hand, slowing him, squeezing it once in a silent _not now_ the implied _not here_. He let’s go and the fingers continue, lower, closer to the knee, still tracing, K-Y-U-N-G-S-O-O.

Dinner can’t be over quick enough. He declines to order dessert even when the Kim’s insist. He wants to be upstairs, wants to be with Chanyeol. Alone.

But then Chanyeol. Chanyeol nods, agrees to split a chocolate cake and cheesecake with Junmyeon. Turns to Kyungsoo. _Are you sure you don’t want any?_ Eyes wide and earnest.

Kyungsoo can only shake his head, sit there as they all nibble at desserts and he sips red wine slowly, making half-lies about not really caring for sweets.

It feels like an eternity later when they’re saying goodbyes. They ride the elevator up with Junmyeon. Kyungsoo stands as far away from Chanyeol as possible in the elevator, his whole body buzzing.

“Soo?” He doesn’t realize Junmyeon’s been talking to him, watching him with a strange expression.

“Hm,” he hums, hopes his face isn’t bright red, betraying him.

“I said how’s your knee? My parents wanted to take you both to the Louvre but we can do something with less walking if you’re not up to it.”

“It’s better. The Louvre sounds great.” The elevator doors open and Junmyeon steps out, leading them towards their neighboring rooms. Kyungsoo tries his best to concentrate. Chanyeol is too close. “We can meet around quarter after nine? I’ll talk to my mom and double-check but I think they wanted to get breakfast together first.”

“Yeah, sounds good.” Kyungsoo nods, sliding his keycard into his door.

“Okay,” Junmyeon smiles at them brightly. “Goodnight.” He opens his own door and Kyungsoo walks into his own room.

“Soo are you okay?” Chanyeol says, his eyes are worried as he wanders in, slipping out of his shoes and taking off his belt.

_God, want to kiss you so bad._ “God, shut up.”

Chanyeol looks at him, confused as he sits down on the bed. Kyungsoo pushes him against the mattress. “You were driving me crazy.” He kisses the corner of Chanyeol’s mouth, trailing kisses down his jaw. He wants to kiss his lips but instead he moves lower, kisses Chanyeol’s neck as he unbuttons his shirt.

“Soo?” Chanyeol says, even as he wraps his arms around Kyungsoo’s waist, hands reaching under his shirt.

“Is this okay?” Kyungsoo says, even as Chanyeol presses their bodies closer. He needs to know, needs to know if Chanyeol wants this.

“God. Fuck. Yeah.”

Kyungsoo slips his hands under Chanyeol’s shirt, fingers trailing along the planes of his stomach.

“You’re so hot, Soo.” Chanyeol says, breathless as he runs his hands down to Kyungsoo’s ass, squeezing it.

“God,” Kyungsoo mumbles, kissing Chanyeol hard.

It feels like too much, it’s all too much. His skin burning.

He falls to his knees easily, unbuttoning Chanyeol’s pants and helping him take them off. He doesn’t hesitate to palm Chanyeol through his boxers, his mouth watering at the thought of taking Chanyeol. Chanyeol keeps making little noises above him and Kyungsoo feels a bit crazed with lust, like he would do anything to continue hearing those noises.

It’s not long until Chanyeol’s begging, asking for more, little prayers of Kyungsoo’s name sounding completely sinful.

Kyungsoo isn’t one to tease, takes Chanyeol into his mouth quickly. He keeps his eyes trained on Chanyeol, focused on making him feel good, even as his own hard cock strains against his jeans.

“Please, please, please, Kyungsoo, please,” Chanyeol’s begging, hands shaking as he leans back. He fucks up a little into Kyungsoo’s mouth and Kyungsoo presses cold fingertips to his hipbone to push his hips down.

Chanyeol’s whines speed up, an incoherent mess as Kyungsoo pushes himself, gags just a bit before pulling off, focusing on the head. Chanyeol comes with a groan, Kyungsoo’s name on his lips as he pulls Kyungsoo’s hair.

The sound drives a little spark down Kyungsoo’s body and Chanyeol pulls him up, kisses him hard, all tongue and soft moans as he grinds a knee near Kyungsoo’s cock, whispering sweet words as he flips them over, crawling down the length of Kyungsoo’s body.

♡♡♡

Kyungsoo wakes up to the incessant ringing of the telephone in their hotel room. He’s reaching blindly for it, arm stretching until he’s able to pick it up.

It’s an alarm courtesy of the front desk and Junmyeon.

He groans, remembers where he’s at.

He wants to crawl back under the covers, instead he reaches over, shakes a half-naked Chanyeol a little to wake him up.

♡♡♡

Their days in Paris pass by quick. They have meals with Junmyeon’s family, they sight-see with Junmyeon’s family, their schedules completely packed. Too tired to do much of anything when they get back to the hotel other than lay down and sleep. Even if maybe, in the back of his mind Kyungsoo wishes something would happen.

They don’t talk about their last night in London, or their first night in Paris. Almost as if nothing happened; Kyungsoo reminds himself it really was that—nothing happened. Their friendship doesn’t change though, Chanyeol just as touchy-feely as always. Maybe Kyungsoo pushes him away less, leans into him a little more. If Chanyeol notices he doesn’t say.

Paris is fast, before they know it Junmyeon is dropping them off in the train station, hugging them and telling them to take care, to eat well, and text them as soon as they get to Nice.

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo remind Junmyeon that the offer still stands for him to join them, but Junmyeon just shakes his head, laughs, and hugs them again.

**_Nice_ **

The first night in Nice (or well, Nice-adjacent—their hostel is just outside the actual city) is rather uneventful, booking into their double-room in their hostel. The couple at the front desk are nice even if a little sickeningly in love, but they make small talk with them quite easily without it feeling forced. They recommend restaurants and cafes and one of them shares about their own trip to the States (last year—New York).

Their eyes visibly light up when Chanyeol mentions they’ll be going on a bike tour at some nearby wineries.

“Oh, we did that for our second anniversary,” one of them says, smiling widely. “You two will love it.”

Junmyeon’s parents had booked them the bike tour. They two had also done it earlier in the summer, and when they found out Kyungsoo and Chanyeol would be going to the South of France they had made all the arrangements, surprising them. It was too extravagant of a gift (for what occasion, Kyungsoo wasn’t sure), but there was no way for them to cancel despite their many protests.

“Please, you’ll be doing us a favor,” Mrs. Kim had insisted. Kyungsoo wasn’t sure in what way they would be doing the favor, but they had no real choice in the matter.

Despite it being too much for a simple gift, he’s excited. It’s something neither of them would have splurged on if it had been up to them, but it sounded fun.

They wake up early the next day, both shaking with energy even while sporting heavy eye bags.

The bike tour ends up being at their own pace, which Kyungsoo thinks is even more perfect, having expected to have to keep up with a group as they go to the various wineries. They get badges and two bikes. The bikes are cute, white with a little straw basket for personal belongings. (They also get two helmets but they make use of the baskets for them).

Chanyeol looks too big for his bike and Kyungsoo teases him about it until Chanyeol stretches a leg to hit Kyungsoo’s front wheel and Kyungsoo stumbles a bit, having to let the bike drop from under him so that he himself doesn’t topple over.

After a few choice threats, they plan their route. Chanyeol leads the way, staying close to the edge of the road as they bike along the fields. Kyungsoo makes sure to take as many pictures as possible, makes a mental note to go through them to send the best ones to Mrs. Kim as a small thank you.

The first winery is cute, charming, and run by a friendly couple who are hosting the wine tasting. There’s other bikers around, wandering in the shop, tasting wine from the other workers, or simply taking pictures.

Chanyeol leads Kyungsoo straight to a grassy area, there’s vineyards all around and Kyungsoo feels transported back to college and Napa. It’s a bit bittersweet.

“Let’s drink lots and lots of wine,” Chanyeol says, as if picking up on Kyungsoo’s mood, resting an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders for a brief moment to squeeze him reassuringly.

“It’s a wine-tasting, you’re not supposed to drink the wine.” Kyungsoo mumbles, trying to shake the nostalgic feeling.

“Where’s the fun in that,” Chanyeol offers him a sunny grin that Kyungsoo can’t help but return.

♡♡♡

They only make it to three wineries, Chanyeol playing up the part in each winery of a wine expert. In front of the workers he’d ask a million and one questions and Kyungsoo could tell he really did care. But when they were walking around the grounds or biking, he’d pretend, holding an imaginary glass of wine and making fun of it all.

It’s silly and Kyungsoo resists the urge to boop Chanyeol’s nose like a puppy.

“It’s fun even if it’s a little pretentious,” Chanyeol sighs wistfully, looking at a pretty insignia on a bottle as he sets it down carefully on the shelf of the small shop.

“I think the French accents add to it all,” Kyungsoo agrees. He briefly wonders about buying a bottle to take home for his parents but he knows he’d probably drink it before then, and even if he somehow managed to save it he’s not sure there’s space in his luggage to safely carry it back (he’s also very unsure about the laws involved regarding the transport of alcohol).

“In another life I think I would be a wine sommelier,” Chanyeol says, except he trips over the word _sommelier_ and garbles it up, his mouth tripping over its own tongue.

Kyungsoo giggles, poking Chanyeol’s side, “What was that?”

“Sommelier,” Chanyeol tries again, sounding out each syllable. He’s smiling though.

“What am I in that life?” Kyungsoo teases, thinking of Chanyeol as one of the French people inside the wineries.

“You’re a wine sommelier too.” Chanyeol smiles.

“A cop-out.” Kyungsoo frowns playfully.

“Except you’re actually a spy pretending to be a wine sommelier to infiltrate a dangerous crime group and I somehow get swept up in it and help you, and then I get offered your job as a spy and you’re demoted to sidekick,” Chanyeol grins.

“Why not start off being the spy?” Kyungsoo scowls, taking mock offense at being the sidekick.

“That’s a cop-out.” Chanyeol says.

♡♡♡

“Why can’t I wear my boxers?” Kyungsoo whines, cheeks burning even in the darkness. He plants himself steadily down on the sand where he’s sitting, digs his toes in.

“It’s not skinny-dipping then,” Chanyeol says, as if talking to an elementary school kid.

“My clothes are gonna get all wet anyway,” Kyungsoo tries.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol whines, tugging on Kyungsoo’s hand.

“This feels illegal.”

“Didn’t know you cared about the law all of a sudden. Soo, c’mon.” Chanyeol is tugging on Kyungsoo’s wrist so hard Kyungsoo thinks his whole arm will pop off from its socket.

“What if there’s sharks?”

“Just punch them or hold your ground or stay still or something.” Chanyeol says. “Whatever the Discovery Channel recommends.”

“I don’t watch the Discovery Channel,” Kyungsoo says, suddenly feeling anxious about sharks.

“Soo,” Chanyeol whines, ignoring Kyungsoo’s very real concerns about sharks. “Please.”

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath, “Just give me like five seconds to come to terms with maybe possibly dying.”

“Okay.” Chanyeol nods. “Five, four—”

“Don’t count, that doesn’t count. Start over.”

“Nope the five seconds have passed. Time to go. It’s not good to dwell on what-ifs anyway.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes but let’s himself be pulled up easier this time. “A quick dip, right?”

“Super quick,” Chanyeol says, nodding eagerly.

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath, sliding his boxers down in one go, he doesn’t give himself time to feel self-conscious about being naked, instead running and screaming as he goes into the ocean. He doesn’t hear if or when Chanyeol follows, the waves crashing against his body. Cold water washing over him. When he resurfaces, Chanyeol is right there next to him. Kyungsoo smiles, he can barely see him, his glasses back with his clothes and the moon only a sliver in the sky.

Chanyeol smiles at him, teeth blinding despite the darkness. He splashes Kyungsoo, a small wave hitting him square in the face. Kyungsoo splutters, salty seawater going up his nose and into his mouth.

“Chanyeol,” he hisses, splashing a wave towards Chanyeol.

Chanyeol just laughs, splashes Kyungsoo again but doesn’t move, letting Kyungsoo splash him. “Don’t splash me,” Kyungsoo groans, trying to shake water out of his ear.

Chanyeol just laughs again, eyes bright even in the night and sends the smallest amount of water Kyungsoo’s way.

Kyungsoo reaches forward with his feet, wrapping them around Chanyeol and pulling him down with all his strength so that Chanyeol’s grin breaks as he sputters and sinks under for a second before Kyungsoo releases him, already swimming towards the shore.

He’s not quick enough though, Chanyeol reaching over and tugging on his leg, Kyungsoo thrashes wildly, throwing water every which way (and hopefully splashing Chanyeol) as he gets away. They laugh and play like that for a while, Kyungsoo aware his body is turning pruney.

“The stars look pretty,” Chanyeol says, leaning back.

Kyungsoo looks up as well, kicking his feet so he stays afloat. Looking up makes him a little dizzy though so he looks at Chanyeol instead. His eyes are dark pools, reflecting the sky above; lips curved up slightly, pink and full and so pretty Kyungsoo could cry. He has a little mole on his nose that Kyungsoo wants to kiss. Instead, he looks away.

♡♡♡

They lay in the sand in their boxers, the night is balmy but Kyungsoo’s shivering as the water dries on his skin, his toes in the sand.

“I wish we could stay here forever,” Chanyeol’s voice is soft, quiet in the night.

Kyungsoo makes a small noise to let him know he’s listening, runs his fingers through the soft sand. The stars are bright, he feels small, infinitely small, but centered.

“Don’t you think that would be nice?” Chanyeol’s voice is searching.

Kyungsoo doesn’t think about how unrealistic it is, instead lets the sheer want pass through him, holding on to Chanyeol’s words. “That would be nice.”

“Wouldn’t it?” Chanyeol’s voice is still small, yet hopeful, as if it were an actual possibility. “I think we should move to France together.”

“Yeah?” Kyungsoo smiles despite himself.

“We can run a farm, in the countryside—you were good at that farm game right?”

Kyungsoo smiles, nods as he says, “Yeah.”

“We can have like sheep or cows or whatever. You’re the farm expert.”

Kyungsoo laughs, rolls over and pokes Chanyeol’s side. Chanyeol wriggles away from him, laughing as he grabs back at Kyungsoo, dragging him through the sand. Their bodies are pressed against each other, the sand gritty against their skin.

“I’m scared about grad school,” Chanyeol’s voice is so soft.

“You’re gonna kill it, gonna be the best grad student ever.”

“I don’t wanna be alone.” Chanyeol mumbles.

“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo reaches over, pats his hand carefully. “You’re gonna make friends.”

“I don’t wanna make friends,” Chanyeol pouts.

“You sound like a child,” Kyungsoo scolds lightly.

“Aren’t you sad we won’t all be together?” Chanyeol says, his voice watery.

“You’ll have Baekhyun and Jongdae… and Sehun… Jongin…” Kyungsoo trails off. He’s the only one leaving.

“It’s not the same.” Chanyeol sounds on the verge of tears. “You won’t be there.”

Kyungsoo feels his heart tug, “Chanyeol.”

“I wish I could come to Texas instead.”

“You’d hate it being so far from everyone—your family, Baek… Dae…”

“I’d hate being away from you,” Chanyeol says, his statement almost too truthful, cuts through Kyungsoo.

“It’ll be okay,” Kyungsoo mumbles, unsure about what else he can say, how he can reassure Chanyeol when he doesn’t even know how to reassure himself. He tries not to let the anxiety about where he’ll be rise up. That same anxiety about his own future constantly sitting at his core, waiting to come up, threatening to overtake his thoughts at any given moment. He squeezes Chanyeol’s hand, hopes it can convey everything he still can’t put into words.

♡♡♡

Their clothes are heavy with ocean water and Kyungsoo can feel the salt sticking to his hair, the sand embedded into his skin. He feels like he’s been living at the bottom of the ocean for the past ten years.

Chanyeol’s laughing as he walks a bit ahead, shoes in hand. His hair is sticking to his skull in places, and sticking straight up in others from where he ran his hands through. Kyungsoo thinks he looks cute even though it’s a bit silly.

The hostel isn’t far enough from the beach, it’s a quick walk even as they start shivering after sitting out for so long. They head straight to the showers, grabbing the clean towels and the small complementary bottles of body wash and shampoo from the linen closet before shedding off their wet layers. The warm water is welcomed, and Kyungsoo can’t help but sigh as the stream of water hits him, the warmth seeping through his skin into his bones. It feels absolutely heavenly, and Kyungsoo closes his eyes, pretends the water is washing everything away.

He’s quick to wash his hair, trying to get all the sand and salt out before it gets too gross, using up too much shampoo and lathering it into his scalp. He tilts his head back, letting the hot water wash over his hair and body, a tinge too hot.

“Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol’s voice is soft, and Kyungsoo isn’t sure whether or not he’s just imaging things.

“Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol’s voice is louder this time and Kyungsoo opens his eyes, makes a noise he hopes is acknowledgement.

“My water is really cold.” Chanyeol says. Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to say, so he stays silent, pretends his heart doesn’t skip a beat as Chanyeol says, “Can I, can I join you?”

It’s quieter in the bathroom, Chanyeol had turned off his own shower, waiting for Kyungsoo to say something.

“Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol says, and he’s right there, on the other side of the shower curtain. “Please, it’s cold.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kyungsoo says, pretends his voice didn’t break as he slides his eyes closed. Feels the cold air from outside his shower as Chanyeol slips in. He swallows hard when he feels Chanyeol come closer, a breathless apology as Chanyeol moves under the water spray and Kyungsoo steps back, gives him more room. He opens his eyes, takes in the white tile of the bathroom as he feels Chanyeol move behind him.

He gasps when he feels Chanyeol grab his upper arms, fingers soft as he moves Kyungsoo under the spray, “You’re shivering.”

Chanyeol is right there and Kyungsoo feels like he can’t breathe. It’s not long before Chanyeol is reaching around him, turning off the water stream and handing Kyungsoo a towel. Only after his towel is secured around him that Kyungsoo manages to turns around, takes Chanyeol in for the first time since he stepped into the shower.

Chanyeol’s looking back at him, expression unreadable as he looks at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo blinks and the moment is broken. Chanyeol pushes the curtain back and steps out. They get ready for bed together, Chanyeol starting on a skin care routine that is much too long for the time of night. Kyungsoo can’t be assed to do much more than brush his teeth and put on moisturizer before begging off to their room. He gets dressed without bothering to turn on the overhead light, instead flicking a lamp between the two beds on. He gets dressed on auto-pilot, the tiredness from the night finally catching up to him. He crawls into bed, eyes heavy.

He doesn’t know how much longer it is before the door opens, bathing the room in the light from the hallway momentarily before Chanyeol closes the door.

“Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol’s voice is soft, tentatively checking to see if Kyungsoo is still awake.

“Hm,” Kyungsoo says, suddenly feeling more alert.

Chanyeol moves around the room, his silhouette creating shadows against the walls. Kyungsoo closes his eyes, listens to his own heartbeat and Chanyeol’s soft movements. It’s not until his bed dips that Kyungsoo opens his eyes again. Chanyeol must have turned off the lamp because it takes a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. A moment before Chanyeol comes into his vision and he’s so close, Kyungsoo feels like his heart is roaring in the stillness of the room.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol’s breath fans over Kyungsoo’s face—he’s so close. “Can I sleep here?”

Kyungsoo wants to ask what’s wrong with Chanyeol’s bed, wants to say no. Instead he scoots over, pretends like his skin isn’t burning as he leaves enough room for Chanyeol to snake his way under the covers. Pretends like he isn’t on fire when Chanyeol cuddles up to him, his long, lean body pressed hard against Kyungsoo’s smaller frame.

He lays still, frozen, even after Chanyeol’s breaths even out. Kyungsoo can’t explain why there’s a pit in his stomach and why this all feels like the end.

Why this trip is starting to feel more and more like a goodbye.

♡♡♡

They wake up tangled together, Chanyeol’s leg trapping Kyungsoo’s whole body, his breath hitting Kyungsoo’s neck with every exhale.

Kyungsoo’s burning up, Chanyeol is like a furnace gripping him while he sleeps and he tries his best to wriggle out from underneath. He’s pressed up against the wall though and he has no way to escape other than to wait. He struggles to wriggle an arm out from Chanyeol’s vice like grip and pokes Chanyeol a little bit.

“Hey, Chanyeol, wake up.” His voice is hoarse and he tries to clear his throat a bit, pushing Chanyeol away with more force.

Chanyeol blinks up at him, there’s sleep in his eyes n a bit of dried drool in the corner of his mouth. Kyungsoo laughs a little. “Wake up sleepyhead.”

“What?” Chanyeol frowns.

“My optometrist said that makes your eyesight worse,” Kyungsoo says, observing the way Chanyeol rubs his eyes.

“Hm,” Chanyeol answers. “I feel very hungover. Can we sleep for like ten more minutes?”

Kyungsoo watches as Chanyeol settles back down, hugging Kyungsoo closer. Kyungsoo wiggles out easier, moving to the foot of the bed as Chanyeol whines. “I’m gonna get dressed and ready—I’ll bring you a glass of water so you can take an Advil.”

When Kyungsoo comes back with a glass of water from the hostel kitchen Chanyeol is sitting up, he’s still blearily blinking into the room, hair an absolute mess, looking very sleepy. Kyungsoo hands him the glass of water and moves towards the pile of clothes on a chair from where they first got here. He grabs a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans and changes quickly, glancing back at Chanyeol.

Chanyeol’s laying back down, head completely covered by the blanket. “Chanyeol, get up.”

“Soo, I think I’m dying.” Chanyeol peaks from under his blanket. “You’re wearing my shirt.”

Kyungsoo looks down at himself. The t-shirt he’s wearing is baggy but he’s pretty sure it’s his own. “No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.” Chanyeol pouts. “It’s okay though. It looks good on you.”

“Whatever, you stretched out my shirt in London anyway so you owe me.”

“It looks good,” Chanyeol repeats.

“Get up,” Kyungsoo says, pretends his ears don’t burn. “Let’s have breakfast and go see the Matisse museum.”

“You go, I’m dying.” Chanyeol moans.

“Stop being dramatic.” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “If we get breakfast you’ll feel better.”

“Okay, okay.” Chanyeol gets up then, long limbs flailing a bit as he struggles with the blanket. Kyungsoo can’t help the breathy laugh that escapes him.

♡♡♡

The museum is nice, quiet. There’s a few people milling around, but Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are able to wander around without much difficulty.

There’s some families and couples and pretty soon Chanyeol starts leaning over to Kyungsoo, whispering made-up stories about the strangers instead of focusing on the art.

“I think they’re on their first date,” Chanyeol whispers, mouth and body too close. Kyungsoo can barely focus, he doesn’t really care much about the art (although it’s very cool and he’d done a project on Matisse his sophomore year), but he pretends he does, pushing Chanyeol away a little. Kyungsoo’s too aware of his own body, of the warmth radiating from Chanyeol. Needs to create as much space as possible before he goes and does something stupid like kiss Chanyeol’s dimple. “They’re gonna get married I think.”

“You can’t just marry people off,” Kyungsoo says, stepping a bit away and pretending to be absorbed in a painting, looking away from the couple.

Chanyeol pouts, following Kyungsoo. “I didn’t marry people off; it’s called fate Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes.

“I’m tired,” Chanyeol whines, draping an arm around Kyungsoo. “Are we almost done?”

“Was there somewhere you had to be?” Kyungsoo bites back.

“We can go to the beach? Get lunch.”

“We just had breakfast.”

“A day-old croissant hardly counts as breakfast,” Chanyeol sighs. All the cafes near the hostel had been switching from their breakfast menu to their lunch menu and the options had been extremely limited.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes for effect, easily giving in. He would have left as soon as they walked in if Chanyeol had asked. “I think there’s only one more room anyway.”

“You’re the best, Soo.” Chanyeol grins, grabbing Kyungsoo’s hand and dragging him out of the museum, his steps large and energetic.

♡♡♡

They spend the day at the beach, splashing around and napping. When the sun is high in the sky, Chanyeol wanders back after buying shaved ice for both of them, sitting next to Kyungsoo as they watch the sea together.

Chanyeol had been swimming, his hair sandy and hanging over his forehead. “We should go diving.”

“Hm,” Kyungsoo hums thoughtfully.

“We should,” Chanyeol repeats. “It’ll be fun.”

Kyungsoo definitely doesn’t think it’ll be all that fun.

“We should take a nap instead, it’ll be fun.”

Chanyeol pouts at that. “Soo, please.”

Kyungsoo can feel his resolve crumble. He’s about to give-in even if he doesn’t even know how to dive or where to get equipment, the plan barely half-formed, when a voice calls out to them.

“Hey, do you guys want to play?” Kyungsoo vaguely recognizes the man speaking and holding a volleyball as someone from the hostel.

“Uh,” Kyungsoo starts.

“Oh, that sounds fun,” Chanyeol says, diving already forgotten.

Kyungsoo tries to beg off, he almost uses the excuse of his knee but it hasn’t hurt since the first night in Paris so he doesn’t. Instead lets himself be dragged up by Chanyeol, following reluctantly. There’s a group of three other guys standing together. Kyungsoo isn’t sure why they needed him and Chanyeol, but he’s slightly thankful he’s not being forced to dive.

They divide up into teams. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo in opposite teams. Kyungsoo tries not to be too anxious about that, tries to make friendly conversation while they play.

The conversation tapers off though, especially when the other team spikes the volleyball—there’s no net but it’s a hard, angled hit, almost hitting one of Kyungsoo’s teammates in the face. Kyungsoo isn’t all that great at volleyball, but he tries his best. It seems like he got put into the team with a less competitive streak. The other side kicking up a sand storm and spiking at every chance.

It starts being less and less fun the more competitive the other side gets, one of the guys giving even Chanyeol a run for his money when he yells about the ball being out-of-bounds. Kyungsoo doesn’t point out there’s no lines anywhere, there’s no way to know when a ball it out-of-bounds.

He makes eye contact with Chanyeol then, both of them smiling as Kyungsoo’s team acquiesces. The game dies down after that, no one really feeling like playing any longer. Kyungsoo thinks he’s played enough volleyball to last a lifetime.

“A few of us are heading to this outdoor bar later tonight? Don’t know what your plans are, but you two should swing by. I know a few other people from the hostel will be there, it’ll be nice.”

“Special occasion?” Chanyeol asks, eyes shiny.

“Just that it’s a Friday night,” the guy grins explaining the location before clapping Chanyeol once on the arm before waving at both of them and going off. “Hope to see you both there,” he calls out.

♡♡♡

They had showered at the hostel and headed back out into the evening. Kyungsoo’s muscles sore from volleyball.

They get dinner at a seafood restaurant nearby, sitting outside to enjoy the warm air. The sun had just set and it dusted everything in a pretty orange hue.

The outside bar isn’t too far from the hostel and the restaurant, and although neither of them had mentioned it they head there right after dinner. Chanyeol throws an arm around Kyungsoo bringing him near as they approach. “Night out on the town,” Chanyeol jokes.

Kyungsoo shrugs him off, “Acting as if every night hasn’t been a night out.”

Chanyeol laughs, “It does feel a little like I’ve had a permanent hangover.”

Kyungsoo agrees, there’s been a dull thud in his head ever since his last night in London—a combination of his body still not used to the time difference, the excessive drinking, and the lack of sleep. He expects that when he gets home he’ll crash for a week.

He shakes those thoughts out of his head, no use thinking about that now anyway.

The outside bar has a view of the beach, the floor tiled, room open to the elements so that the soft breeze blows in, the décor and atmosphere should make Kyungsoo feel underdressed if it wasn’t for everyone seemingly being from the hostel, dressed in old t-shirts, cut-offs, and board shorts.

Chanyeol spots the volleyball guys pretty easily, waves at them even as he walks with Kyungsoo over to the bar. There’s a little menu describing the bar specials and Chanyeol takes it, he eyes it, reading over each signature cocktail. Kyungsoo looks over his shoulder, standing a bit of his toes to be able to read it properly.

“You know you’re probably just going to get a jack and coke or a vodka soda or something,” Kyungsoo says, rolling his eyes at some of the cocktail descriptions.

Chanyeol pouts, reading the first thing he sees, “Maybe I want a hibiscus infused cocktail.”

Kyungsoo grabs the menu from him, “Let’s order then.”

“Wait, no.” Chanyeol grabs the menu again.

Kyungsoo laughs at Chanyeol’s earnest expression, letting go of the menu easily.

Chanyeol’s in the middle of a tirade about a citrus Moscow mule when the bartender comes up to them, “Can I get you guys started with anything?”

“Jack and coke?” Chanyeol says. “Two.”

Kyungsoo laughs, setting down the menu on the bar counter. The bartender eyes them wearily, unsure about the laughter. Kyungsoo watches the bartender even as Chanyeol turns away from the bar. “Let’s not get too fucked tonight. My permanent hangover is starting to age me.”

♡♡♡

Kyungsoo is drunk. Very, very drunk.

Chanyeol is fairing much better than him, nursing a jack and coke as he laughs along with the table. Kyungsoo slumps against him, settles into the crook of Chanyeol’s arm to take a quick nap.

“Soo,” Chanyeol says, runs a hand through Kyungsoo’s short hair and taps him once on the cheek.

The table is quiet, and Kyungsoo opens his eyes, realizing they’re alone. He feels disoriented, drunk. Chanyeol’s knuckles are resting against his jaw, soft and still. Kyungsoo resists the urge to close his eyes again, but doesn’t, instead sitting up a bit.

“You fell asleep,” Chanyeol’s voice is barely a whisper, but their closeness allows Kyungsoo to hear him. “We should head back to the hostel, it’s late anyway.”

Kyungsoo makes a noise he hopes conveys his agreement, too tired to say much of anything. He lets Chanyeol slip out of the booth, drag him along gently. Blinks hard a few times to adjust to the lowlight, get a grip on himself.

He doesn’t know if he feels more disoriented from the alcohol or from having fallen asleep but he maneuvers through the bar, following Chanyeol closely. Chanyeol wraps a hand around his wrist as they move through and Kyungsoo shuffles his feet as he moves forward, already fantasizing about crawling into bed.

“You’re heading out?”

Kyungsoo looks up blearily, sneakily leaning against Chanyeol and trying to stifle a yawn when Chanyeol pauses, talking to someone vaguely familiar.

“Kyungsoo’s sleepy,” Chanyeol explains.

The other voice makes a noise of assent, “Thanks for coming out, man. Catch you at the hostel.”

“Nah, thanks for inviting us out and for the match earlier. It was fun,” Chanyeol says. Kyungsoo figures it’s one of the guys from the volleyball game then, he doesn’t really care though with the way his eyes keep threatening to close and leans just a little more of his weight on Chanyeol, wishing he was taller so he could hook his chin on Chanyeol’s shoulder. To be fair though, it would be okay if Chanyeol was shorter—as long as Kyungsoo could set his chin on Chanyeol’s shoulder comfortably, he’s not picky.

“If you ever wanna play, we’re usually on the beach most of the time to be honest.”

Kyungsoo zones out for the rest of the conversation. He thinks he might have fallen asleep standing up when Chanyeol shifts his own weight and Kyungsoo topples over a little, bringing him back to where they’re standing at the bar.

He’s not sure how long it’s been, although he knows it couldn’t have been more than a minute. Chanyeol has an arm tight around his bicep steadying him even as he continues to talk to Mr. Volleyball player. “Oh, uh, we, uh,” Chanyeol’s stuttering through his words.

“Hey, man, I didn’t mean anything by it. Just you two are cute together,” the guy smiles and Kyungsoo can’t quite understand the context of the statement, can’t be bothered to really care what volleyball man thinks when he’s so dead tired on his feet and still standing in some bar. The guy claps Chanyeol on the back and walks off. Chanyeol stumbles forward a little from the force and his own unsteadiness, elbow knocking into Kyungsoo’s mouth.

“Ow,” Kyungsoo manages to say, his hand reaches out to hit Chanyeol. There’s no force behind it.

“Sorry, sorry,” Chanyeol says, hands hesitantly reaching for Kyungsoo before he thinks better and runs a hand through his hair instead.

Kyungsoo doesn’t tell him that there’s a little tuft of hair left sticking up, instead he leans back into Chanyeol allowing himself to be led forward. If he closes his eyes a little on their walk back to the hostel no one has to know.

♡♡♡

They spend the morning wandering in and out of shops. Kyungsoo is nursing a hangover that feels eerily familiar, holding a bottle of water as he trails after Chanyeol.

Chanyeol manages to find a small gift for everyone in his family. Kyungsoo finds it endearing even if he grumbles about it.

He’d had hoped they would get to sleep-in that morning, but they’d been woken up at dawn by a couple shouting down the hall. The shouting had only spurred others to shout out how annoying the couple was for screaming which only led to more shouting. It was a stupid cycle and it made Kyungsoo want to set the whole place on fire.

Chanyeol had managed to sleep through it all.

“Do you think Junmyeon would like this?” Chanyeol holds up a pretty silver ring.

“You are not getting Junmyeon a gift,” Kyungsoo says, taking the ring from Chanyeol’s hand and setting it back down.

“Why not?” Chanyeol eyes the ring. “As a thank you, for letting us stay with him.”

“Send him a thank you card then,” Kyungsoo says drily, eyeing some other little trinkets in the store. Everything looks way too expensive and delicate. There was also way too much glass in the store for Kyungsoo to be comfortable around while nursing a hangover.

“It’s called being polite,” Chanyeol picks up the ring again. “It’s pretty, no?”

“Sure,” Kyungsoo says, the ring is pretty. “But if you get it for Junmyeon a gift you’ll have to get everyone a gift.”

Chanyeol bites his lip at that, considering.

“It would be unfair, don’t you think.”

Chanyeol sets down the ring with a sigh, “You’re right.” He hooks an arm around Kyungsoo’s elbow, leading them out of the shop with a wave and a thanks to the shop owner.

“Should we get lunch?” Chanyeol says. “Celebrate?”

“Celebrate what?” Truthfully, Kyungsoo has lost track of the days. “Yes to lunch though.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Chanyeol smiles. “We can celebrate anything.”

♡♡♡

The café they end up is cute.

Kyungsoo is just happy to sit down.

They order a breakfast sandwich, a small side salad, breakfast eggs, and a pasta dish. It’s a bit eclectic but when it arrives Kyungsoo thinks he could eat it all himself, it all looks absolutely delicious. He digs in before the waiter even gets the chance to leave, Chanyeol busy ordering an Americano.

“Leave some for me,” Chanyeol whines, reaching over to take his half of the sandwich. “Is it good?” He’s looking at Kyungsoo expectantly, even as he bites into it himself. Kyungsoo can’t do much more other than nod, mouth full.

It’s not until the sandwich is gone and they’re making their way through the other dishes (at a slower pace), and Kyungsoo has gulped down half of Chanyeol’s Americano that Chanyeol calls the waiter over. “Let’s celebrate,” he faux-whispers to Kyungsoo as the waiter makes his way over.

Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow as Chanyeol orders a bottle of sparkling wine.

“It’s one in the afternoon,” Kyungsoo says, laughing as he twirls some pasta.

“We’re celebrating,” he repeats, grinning. “Plus, the best way to nurse a hangover is by drinking more. It’s basic science.”

“Don’t know how much science is involved in that,” Kyungsoo says, even as his lips break out into a smile.

The waiter arrives then and serves them each a glass, leaving the bottle on the table. It’s not the best bottle of wine on the menu, but it’s enough to make them laugh a little at themselves, the whole set-up fancier than warranted.

“Cheers,” Chanyeol says, watching Kyungsoo as he takes a sip himself. The wine is sweet and calms Kyungsoo’s headache a bit.

They split the bottle, giggling so much that the other patrons start shooting them odd looks. Chanyeol especially can’t seem to laugh without throwing his limbs everywhere, but he’s trying to keep it contained, even if he does slap the table once or twice, hitting a fork leading it to clatter against a plate.

When the bottle runs out, they pay, Kyungsoo making sure he leaves a heavy tip for their waiter and for any trouble they might have caused. Neither of them feel like heading back to the hostel or doing any of the things on their shortlist of things to do.

Chanyeol’s eyes light up as they walk aimlessly, “You should go get us a bottle of wine.”  
  


“I paid for the last one, it’s your turn.” Kyungsoo says, poking Chanyeol in the ribs.

“No, no. I have to do something real, real quick.” He makes a sign with his hands to indicate _real, real quick_.

The sign makes no sense to Kyungsoo, but he still smiles at Chanyeol pushing his arm a little, “What do you have to do? You just want me to buy the wine.”

“No, I promise, Soo. I pinky promise.” Chanyeol holds out his pinky finger and gives Kyungsoo his best puppy dog eye look.

“Fine, silly.”

“Meet at the beach in like fifteen minutes? Like near where we were yesterday?” Chanyeol’s practically shaking with excitement and Kyungsoo laughs, nodding.

♡♡♡

Kyungsoo’s laying back on the sand, eyes closed, as he absorbs the sounds of the beach around him. He feels a little weightless but in the best way possible. Time feels non-existent and Kyungsoo thinks he could lay on the beach forever, even if there is a small, sharp pebble digging into the back of his thigh. The sun is shining down so that even with his eyes closed, Kyungsoo sees red and has to squint slightly. The noise from the other beachgoers is white noise, mixing with the calming sounds of the waves and the ocean.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been laying there when Chanyeol plops down next to him, “Was it more than fifteen minutes? I had to run all the way here just to make it in time. Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, are you sleeping?” He sounds out of breath.

Kyungsoo cracks open an eye, Chanyeol is leaning over him, watching him.

They stare at each other for a few seconds, the pebble still digging into Kyungsoo’s thigh. Kyungsoo feels very aware of his own body, thinks of Paris and London and being with Chanyeol. Thinks of running his fingers through Chanyeol’s hair and licking into his mouth. Thinks of the softness of Chanyeol’s lips and how Kyungsoo’s heart feels ready to take flight. Thinks of how easy it would be to reach out and kiss him.

Instead, he pushes Chanyeol away as he sits up.

He reaches for the wine between them, definitely not as nice as the one from the café they had lunch at, but good enough. He hands it to Chanyeol, and Chanyeol opens it easily and takes a sip tentatively. He frowns a little, shaking his head.

“Not as sweet,” he says. “It’s okay.”

Kyungsoo takes the bottle, takes a longer drag. The wine is bearable.

“What did you go get?”

“A present,” Chanyeol grins mischievously.

“Your bank account must be screaming right now.”

“It’s okay because I have a best friend who is willing to feed me.”

“Really? Who?” Kyungsoo teases.

Chanyeol just grins. “You’re gonna love this present. Close your eyes and give me your hand.”

“It better not be a bug, Chanyeol. Or something else gross.” Kyungsoo says, following directions even as he protests.

“Have some faith,” Chanyeol says. Even with his eyes closed, Kyungsoo can tell that Chanyeol is smiling.

Chanyeol sets something small and cold in Kyungsoo’s palm, almost weightless.

“Open,” Chanyeol sounds breathless, voice barely heard above the waves crashing.

“The ring,” Kyungsoo says, holding the silver ring delicately. “Chanyeol, I told you—”

“It’s not for Junmyeon,” Chanyeol cuts in quickly.

“It’s—”

“It’s yours. I mean—for you.” Chanyeol says quickly. “I got it for you.”

Kyungsoo looks at the ring closely, unsure of what to say or how to react. It’s beautiful, there’s a leaf pattern edged into the silver of the ring.

“It’s not the same one as the one from before. But I thought. It suits you.” Chanyeol seems hesitant, unsure the longer Kyungsoo is quiet.

“But I didn’t get you anything,” Kyungsoo manages, voice soft. He slips the ring on, holding his hand out to Chanyeol to inspect. There’s a lot he wants to say, a lot he doesn’t feel brave enough to say.

“It’s a gift, Soo. Consider it your half-birthday present.”

“Half-birthday? It’s June.” Kyungsoo points out, doing some quick math.

“It’s close enough,” Chanyeol shrugs. “It’s just a gift. I don’t expect anything from you,” Chanyeol seems happier now that Kyungsoo is wearing the ring, holding Kyungsoo’s hand delicately as he looks at the ring up close. “Maybe a few meals.”

“I can do that.” Kyungsoo smiles. “It’s so pretty.”

“It is.”

♡♡♡

The hostel seems to be shrouded in silence.

Kyungsoo and Chanyeol play the movie from Chanyeol’s tablet, both under a blanket despite the heat outside. They had turned off the lights in the room, but the hallway light spills in from crack under the door, and the setting sun sneaks into the room through the high window.

The movie is from Stanley Kubrick and Kyungsoo thinks he might have seen a later adaptation or a show with the same plot, so he’s only half-paying attention to it, instead savoring in the warmth of being cuddled up with Chanyeol like this.

Despite spending all day, every day together Kyungsoo had missed these moments. In college, when they had spent practically all their time together, they would gather at someone’s apartment at least once a week (more than one night a week most of the time), all cuddled together, eating an unhealthy amount of takeout and cheap beer. Kyungsoo thinks that’s the part he’ll miss the most. Just quiet nights spent with his best friends.

He tries not to think about that now, instead cuddling closer to Chanyeol, trying to make the small moments last.

♡♡♡

Their last two days in France (or day and a half since they have a train to catch) are quiet. They play volleyball once more and Chanyeol exchanges numbers with one of the guys when he finds out they’ll be in Greece at the same time.

They spend too many hours on the beach, wearing less sunscreen than they probably should be, and drinking shitty wine. Kyungsoo wears his new ring every day, and he pretends he doesn’t catch himself tracing the leaves every so often.

It’s sunny and beautiful and Kyungsoo still has that distinct weightless feeling.

****

****

****

**_Barcelona_ **

Barcelona is beautiful. Chanyeol’s camera making a reappearance as he takes pictures of everything. Most of the time though it’s pointed up at the architecture, a look of concentration passing over his features as he tries to find the perfect angle.

He’s playing with his camera now, sitting on a bench in the airport as they wait for Jongin and Sehun to arrive. The screen says their flight has landed, but Kyungsoo hasn’t received a message from either yet.

Kyungsoo laughs when Chanyeol aims it at his face, pushes the camera away. “Stop,” he laughs, hopes his face isn’t red. “You’re wasting your film.”

Teasing Chanyeol like that though only spurs him further and Chanyeol turns it back, pressing the button before Kyungsoo can react, the camera shutter clicking and the sound of the film advancing. Chanyeol grins.

“It probably wasn’t even in focus,” Kyungsoo scowls.

“You’re forgetting I’m a professional,” Chanyeol grins wider, putting the lens cap back on the camera and shoving it in his bag. “Has Jongin or Sehun texted you, yet?” He rummages in his bag, pulling out his own phone. “Oh, never mind. Sehun said they’re just about to go through customs.”

Kyungsoo nods, leans back in the seat and closes his eyes for a moment. “Hopefully they’re quick.”

Chanyeol hums, leans back as well so his head knocks against Kyungsoo, he slithers further down so he can lay his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Kyungsoo meets him halfway, sitting up slightly so Chanyeol isn’t bent at such a weird angle.

“Are you excited?”

“No, are you?” Kyungsoo teases, Chanyeol’s practically vibrating with excitement. Sehun and Jongin are like his younger brothers; Sehun and Chanyeol had grown up together, had shared a small apartment together.

“No,” Chanyeol says, even as a grin breaks through his face.

“You have too many teeth,” Kyungsoo grumbles even as he fights back a smile, pulling out his phone to settle in and play a game.

Chanyeol just laughs, settles in comfortably to watch Kyungsoo play.

♡♡♡

Jongin and Sehun arrive. Both of them are carrying tiny suitcases and have dark under eyebags. They look happy though, Sehun bounding over as soon as he sees them.

Chanyeol throws his arm around Sehun, almost lifting him up even though Sehun starts whining immediately, “You’re squeezing me, hyung.”

Chanyeol releases him then, hugging Jongin just as tightly. “I’m so excited you guys are here.”

Sehun wraps up Kyungsoo in a hug, holding on to him even when Jongin tries to greet him.

“Hyung,” Jongin smiles, wrapping his arms around both Kyungsoo and Sehun. Chanyeol takes the opportunity to join, squeezing them all.

“We can probably get a taxi back to the hostel,” Chanyeol says as he leads them out of the airport.

“How’s your trip been?” Sehun asks, hand still over Kyungsoo’s shoulders as he walks.

“Oh, Hunnie,” Chanyeol grins, turning around and walking backwards, Kyungsoo watches him wearily. Chanyeol is constantly like a bumbling newborn deer, and walking backwards is an injury waiting to happen. Jongin must have the same idea as Kyungsoo because before Chanyeol can say anything about the trip he wraps an arm around Chanyeol, forcing him to turn around. They slow down their pace though, so Chanyeol can turn and explain eagerly to Sehun about their trip. “You have to go to Nice, I swear.”

Sehun hums thoughtfully, there’s a slight faraway expression in his eyes and Kyungsoo can sometimes not tell when Sehun is or isn’t listening.

“Maybe we’ll go,” Sehun finally says, glancing at Jongin. “Paris was fun too though?”

“We mostly were with Junmyeon’s family,” Chanyeol says. “But it was fun.”

“And London?” Jongin says, as they get into a cab, Chanyeol explaining their destination in Spanish.

“It was fun,” Kyungsoo provides, letting Chanyeol share the Baekhyun and Jongdae news.

Chanyeol turns around as soon as the cab merges into traffic, “They’re like together now. It was gross.” He pulls a face.

Sehun leans forward in his seat, practically draped on Chanyeol’s passenger seat. “It’s about time, don’t you think?”

“They’re idiots, for sure.” Chanyeol nods.

“Not the only ones,” Jongin mumbles.

His comment goes ignored by Chanyeol who says, “You guys didn’t see them before coming?”

“I was home,” Jongin says.

“I went down a few days before to fly out with Jongin, we just missed each other,” Sehun shrugs, finally leaning back. He looks pensive as he looks outside.

“Hopefully they’ll be less gross when we see them again,” Chanyeol says.

Kyungsoo tries not to note that he’s not actually included in the _we_.

♡♡♡

Jongin falls asleep as soon as they make it to the hostel, body claiming Chanyeol’s bottom bunk. Chanyeol doesn’t seem to mind, sitting on Kyungsoo’s bed as he catches up with Sehun, filling him in on the trip in minute detail. Kyungsoo would find it annoying if it wasn’t so endearing, excitement clearly written all over his features.

Sehun and Chanyeol both decide to take naps, Kyungsoo deciding to take his laptop to the hostel common area and watch a movie before they all get up and get dinner together.

It’s a chill day, but after all the walking he thinks his body needs it, appreciates the time off.

The common area is quiet, most people out or taking naps. He settles into one of the couches, settling his laptop on a couch pillow next to him as he goes through the movies he has saved. Nothing catches his eye though, and he ends up scrolling through his social media, still debating between rewatching something he has saved or trying to stream a new movie. The hostel wifi is kinda shitty, so he’s leaning towards a rewatch when he sees a post Chanyeol had made. The timestamp says it’s been a few days ago, but the picture is from Paris. It’s a series of pictures, the first (the one showing up on everyone’s feed) is of Chanyeol, standing in front of the Eiffel Tower doing the classic tourist pose of trying to hold the Eiffel Tower. The pose is cheesy, but Chanyeol’s grinning widely, clearly mid-laugh. It was the only successful shot from that pose. The second is Kyungsoo in a similar pose, he’s also mid-laugh, eyes practically closed. His form is a bit blurrier, he’d only jokingly posed like that when Chanyeol had insisted, whining incessantly. It’s not as good as Chanyeol’s, hand in motion and too high. Kyungsoo doesn’t dwell on it, instead looking at the next picture, Chanyeol and Junmyeon together, arms wrapped around each other. Kyungsoo had taken it, had zoomed in so only part of the Eiffel tower was visible, focused instead on his friend’s smiling faces.

There’s a string of comments between Chanyeol and Baekhyun, too long for Kyungsoo to bother clicking through each to understand, and riddled with half-phrases and strings of emojis. Junmyeon had commented a _send me these_. There’s other comments from people Kyungsoo knows from college and one from Sehun (a single eye emoji).

Kyungsoo likes the series and comments, _photo creds_ with a half-smiling emoji. He clicks on Chanyeol’s profile, picking a movie now pushed to the back of his mind. It seems like Chanyeol had been updating his Instagram the whole time. There’s snapshots from London from before Kyungsoo had joined them, only added later and mixed in with pictures he remembers being there for. There’s several touristy ones from Paris.

There’s only two posts from their time in the South of France.

The first is a series of pictures of the ocean, of the beach. One of the shots look like it was taken while Chanyeol was in the water, ocean all around him, close. All the pictures are pretty, transport him back to those moments, can practically feel the sand against his skin. Kyungsoo comments, _you’re gonna drop your phone_ and likes it.

The second post, the latest one, is similar. Mostly just pictures of Nice and the little village—the streets, architecture, the wineries, the last one is a picture of Kyungsoo on the beach, it’s just the back of his head, turned away from Chanyeol, the sea and other beach-goers in the background. Kyungsoo doesn’t know if he was sleeping in it, or if he was just looking away, enjoying the moment.

There’s something about the picture that makes Kyungsoo pause. He scrolls through the comments, skipping the ones from Baekhyun (strings of emojis and kekekes). There’s a comment from Sehun in Hangul much longer than the rest of his comments (his default being single emojis). _So pretty hyung can’t wait to see you~._

Kyungsoo hesitates, cursor blinking in the comment box. He wants to say something.

Instead he comments, _miss this_.

The words are short, seemingly flippant with it being two days ago, but he still feels raw, exposed. The words heavy with feeling.

♡♡♡

The club was to be expected. Jongin’s and Sehun’s eyes shining when they finally suggest it as it near dusk on the second day. Kyungsoo pretends to be surprised and Chanyeol grins from ear to ear, nodding along happily.

They go to a convenience store nearby, loading up on cheap beer and cider and tiny bottles of tequila before heading back to their hostel. They crowd into their room and lock the door behind them and Jongin almost instantly opens up the tequila.

The day gets darker, and Sehun and Jongin spend too much time running between their room and the bathroom to get ready, the alcohol making them giggly and boisterous. Chanyeol starts playing music, and it adds to the drunkenness, Kyungsoo’s own cheeks red and blotchy.

Kyungsoo thinks they’re all too drunk to go out, but they manage to leave in one piece, Sehun sneaking the two last little bottles of tequila into the waist band of his jeans as he stumbles out. The heat outside is still oppressive and sticky and Kyungsoo hurries along after Jongin and Sehun who are practically skipping in joy.

The club they had decided on isn’t far from the hostel, and they get there before the cover charge starts. The bouncer lets them in easily, eyeing Sehun and Jongin (who are practically vibrating with energy) wearily as he lets them by. Sehun drags Jongin in and Jongin reaches back to grab Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo has half-a-second to grab on to Chanyeol before they’re all being led deeper into the club, into the dance floor.

Kyungsoo doesn’t feel nearly drunk enough, and looking at his friends drunkenly dance makes him feel more sober than anything. He thinks it must be written all over his face because Sehun gets close to him, shoving one of the mini bottles of tequila into his hand. Kyungsoo grips it, hiding it in his pocket. The night is too early to get kicked out for sneaking drinks.

He feels himself relax to the music, especially when the DJ starts playing something he recognizes. Jongin is singing along, wailing about an old friend and swaying to the music and Chanyeol and Sehun are laughing, both too drunk for how early it is and leaning on one another as they dance.

Sehun has more balance, is more composed in his dancing. Movements decidedly sexy as he moves against Chanyeol, calling attention to himself. But although alcohol loosens Chanyeol up enough so that he can dance without inhibitions, his movements are still all over the place not quite as sexy as he’s trying to be, limbs too long. Kyungsoo can’t help but laugh, dragging Chanyeol closer. It’s cute and endearing and Kyungsoo feels his heart squeeze just a bit.

“You’re silly,” Kyungsoo laughs and Chanyeol makes a face like he doesn’t understand ( _who, me?_ ) but his dance moves get sillier. He’s dancing close, a mirror of the way Sehun is now dancing with some stranger. His front pressed against Kyungsoo’s back and Kyungsoo pretends. He laughs along and slaps Chanyeol’s hand away when it loops around his waist, fingers moving under his shirt. Chanyeol just presses closer, laughs too, doesn’t stop trailing patterns on Kyungsoo’s waist, on his abdomen.

Kyungsoo doesn’t understand why everything has to be too much. Instead, when Chanyeol’s fingers feel like they’re burning holes into his skin, when it feels like Kyungsoo’s lungs have ran out of air, like Chanyeol is consuming his every pore, only then does he pull away.

They hadn’t talked about the times they’ve stumbled into one another in the dark, wandering hands as alcohol runs through their veins. He doesn’t know how much longer he can keep playing this game, keep playing pretend. But he doesn’t want to stop.

He sneaks the tequila bottle out of his pocket, chugs half of it before Chanyeol takes it. Kyungsoo feels like throwing up, the alcohol burning his throat. Chanyeol drinks the rest, making the same face before he grins like he has the biggest secret. Presses himself close to Kyungsoo again, skin burning as he reaches around, drops the little bottle in Kyungsoo’s jeans front pocket.

Kyungsoo melts against him, lets the alcohol dance in his veins. Closes his eyes and feels the music.

♡♡♡

Kyungsoo doesn’t really remember when they decide to leave, vaguely remembers piling in a cab and heading back to the hostel—Chanyeol’s Spanish worse with alcohol.

Chanyeol’s saying something and Kyungsoo tries not to focus on the way Chanyeol’s lips move, soft and pink. He doesn’t know what is said, all he knows is he’s laying in his own bed, Chanyeol crawling in next to him, their bodies still burning and there’s a pit in his stomach.

“Chanyeol,” he mumbles. He doesn’t know what he wants to say. Isn’t sure what there is to say.

Chanyeol must know though because Chanyeol snakes a hand delicately against Kyungsoo’s waist, their noses almost touching as he says, “Shh, it’s okay. Go to sleep. You’re drunk.”

“Chanyeol.”

“Shh, baby. Go to sleep, Soo.”

“You’re my best friend,” Kyungsoo murmurs, gripping Chanyeol closer, loving the way his whole body feels like it’s on fire. He wants Chanyeol to hear his heart-beating. “I love you so much, Chanyeol. Thank you for being my best friend.”

“Shh, Soo. You’re drunk, go to sleep.”

♡♡♡

His hangover is unbearable. His head feels like someone bashed it in with a rock, his brain threatening to spill through his ears. Even the birds chirping outside are offensive. He hadn’t drunk too much (not more than any other night), but his body is screaming at him for consistently subjecting it to this.

What’s more offensive is when Chanyeol wakes up and looks like he just had the best sleep of his life. He looks like the sun personified, and jostles Kyungsoo too much as he sits up, stretching.

Kyungsoo is trying his best to lay completely still and pretend he doesn’t exist. He thinks if he opens his mouth he’ll throw up everywhere and he doesn’t want to deal with that quite yet.

Chanyeol blinks down at him owlishly, Cheshire cat grin on his face. His hair is sticking up in every direction and Kyungsoo wants to run his fingers through it, comb it down just to tousle it again.

“Stop smiling at me,” Kyungsoo mumbles instead, wishing he could roll over without a wave of nausea hitting him.

“You’re cute when you’re grumpy.” Chanyeol grins wider if possible.

“You look like a psychopath, stop smiling.” Kyungsoo mumbles, closing his eyes. Chanyeol is too much.

Chanyeol giggles and the sound reverberates through Kyungsoo’s skull, “I think I might still be drunk.”

♡♡♡

They sight-see some more and visit too many restaurants. Kyungsoo thinks his feet are on the verge of falling off.

Sehun and Jongin keep forgetting their wallets, and Kyungsoo scolds them the third time it happens. _I’m just as broke as you assholes_.

He drags them back to get their wallets, even as the hostess at the restaurant watches them leave after just sitting down (Kyungsoo had the good sense to ask them about their wallets before they had ordered). After that they don’t forget (more like Kyungsoo refuses to let them forget, reminding them every time they leave the hostel).

Barcelona is nice, the people are friendly and their basic Spanish seems to strengthen as each day passes. 

They develop a routine: wake up early, go sight-seeing, eat out somewhere (mostly they eat, Jongin wanting to try everything that looks remotely appetizing and the rest too happy to go along with that plan), pre-game at the hostel and then wander the clubs of Barcelona too drunk for their own good. Kyungsoo tries to slow down his drinking, Sehun and Chanyeol are like bottomless pits, tolerance high. Jongin is admittedly a bit of a lightweight, and he always ends the nights too dizzy, dragging his feet on his way home. But despite the gross amounts of alcohol they’re consuming, it’s nice, tinting everything with a slight rose-colored buzz so that all the time they spend together is spent giggling and poking fun at one another.

There’s also another part of their routine, each night Chanyeol crawls into bed with him, no matter how drunk or how sober, cuddling up, whispering goodnight.

Sehun and Jongin don’t mention it, Chanyeol doesn’t mention it, so Kyungsoo stays silent, enjoying the moments he gets to spend curled up next to Chanyeol, stealing his body heat.

**_Granada_ **

****

They decide to squeeze in two days in Granada last minute, checking out of their hostel earlier than planned.

Spain is beautiful, the train ride quiet. Kyungsoo tries not to feel too small as they speed by the Spanish landscape.

Jongin sleeps almost as soon as they get on the train, Sehun leaning against him as he scrolls through his phone. Chanyeol’s absorbed too, catching up on some webcomic. Kyungsoo takes advantage of the silence to drift in and out of consciousness, head leaning on the train window, his earphones playing soft music.

About halfway through the train ride, Jongin startles awake, shaking his head a little. Sehun starts laughing and Kyungsoo blinks away the sleepiness.

“I was falling in my sleep,” Jongin mumbled, pushing Sehun a little. He stretches as he says, “Where are we?”

“In Spain,” Chanyeol says, smiling as if he just said the funniest joke.

Jongin rolls his eyes, “How much longer?”

Chanyeol looks at his watch, “Like three-ish hours.”

Jongin groans, leaning against Sehun. Sehun pushes him away. They stay quiet, Jongin mumbling softly as he watches Sehun on his phone, chin hooked over Sehun’s shoulder.

Chanyeol digs around in his backpack after about fifteen minutes, pulling out a bag of granola. Jongin sits up at that, watching Chanyeol’s movements with hawk eyes even as Chanyeol’s eyes glaze, absorbed in his webcomic.

“Hyung,” Jongin says, eyes still trained on the bag of granola.

Chanyeol stays silent, seemingly unaware that Jongin is talking to him. “Hyung,” Jongin repeats, kicking a foot up gingerly to nudge Chanyeol.

Chanyeol looks up, a questioning look on his face even as his eyes look downwards to his phone.

“Can I have some?” Jongin points to the bag, eyes hopeful.

Chanyeol looks down at the bag as if just realizing he had it. “Go buy some food.”

“Hyung,” Jongin says, a whine in his tone. “Please, I’m just a broke college student. You’re the college graduate.”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes, even as he tosses the bag of granola onto Jongin’s lap. “I’m also a broke college student.”

“Grad program though. Isn’t that like different?” Jongin asks, stuffing his mouth with granola.

Chanyeol shrugs, “Not that different.”

“Sounds different enough,” Jongin offers the open bag to Sehun, who glances at Chanyeol briefly even as he reaches in and takes a handful. “None of us will even be there.”

“Thank god for that,” Chanyeol jokes. “You and Sehun are the bane of my existence.”  
  
“You’ll miss us,” Jongin says even as Sehun makes a little whining sound.

“Don’t think I will,” Chanyeol laughs.

“Hey,” Sehun says, sounding affronted.

“You’re gonna forget us that easily, hyung? I’m wounded.” Jongin clutches his heart, the dramatic effect is lessened when a second later he reaches into the granola bag.

“Who are you again?” Chanyeol teases.

Jongin rolls his eyes, “Don’t think you’ll get rid of us so quickly. I’m not willing to give up Mama Park’s home-cooking yet.”

“Glad to know you’ve been using me.”

“Did you think I actually liked you?” Jongin teases.

“Watch it,” Chanyeol says, grabbing the bag of granola back.

Jongin whines, making grabby hands towards it, “I was kidding. You know you’re my favorite hyung.”

“Hey,” Kyungsoo interjects, there’s no real heat behind his words though—amused at their antics.

Jongin looks over at him, “Sorry, Soo.” He doesn’t sound very sorry.

They all laugh at that, Chanyeol tosses the bag of granola and Jongin goes back to eating the snack.

Even with easiness of the moment, Kyungsoo feels his stomach knot—a constant reminder that all of this will be over soon, that he won’t get to spend quiet moments like these with his friends. All these small moments just a collection of memories.

♡♡♡

Sehun and Jongin go searching for snacks on the train, Jongin grumbling about his dwindling funds, even as he lets himself be led away.

Chanyeol goes back to his phone, immersed in a game. Kyungsoo takes the moments of silence to pull out his computer, balancing it on his lap. There’s been an e-mail waiting for him from his mom that he’s avoided opening, but he figures there’s no better time to read it than now. It’s not that he doesn’t get along with his mom (he does), but it’s because she cares that she expresses so much concern about his future plans (or lack thereof).

When his parents had helped him move out he had promised he would think about his options on his trip, even though he really, really didn’t want to. But it had immediately eased his parents, both their shoulders relaxing and an easy smile taking over his mom’s face. He just didn’t know what he even meant by exploring his options—graduate school, more job interviews, an internship. He wasn’t sure what he wanted.

Kyungsoo had considered graduate school, had looked over Chanyeol’s shoulder as he had applied. The problem was that Kyungsoo didn’t feel any of that passion that should be the driving force to apply; he didn’t want to get stuck doing a degree he didn’t really care of just for the sake of getting his parent’s off his back. Similarly, he had continued to apply to jobs and had gotten some interviews, but so many required more work experience (which he couldn’t get without the job, the cycle really was illogical).

His parents had gotten off his back, but the constant anxiety in the back of his mind about his future and time passing by was more than enough to never quite let him relax.

It was fine, it was all fine. Things would work out. He was set to go back to Texas and work part-time at his family’s restaurant and figure himself out. He had time.

His mom’s e-mail was short, only a few lines long.

_Kyungsoo,_

_Hope you are taking care of yourself and not being too crazy. Ms. Jung from my work told me about a job at her husband’s firm that you might be interested in—I’ll show you when you get back. She said it’s only part-time but I figure it’d be a good opportunity._

_Don’t forget to call us when you can, we miss you. Please stay safe baby. Send lots and lots of pictures! Say hello to Chanyeol for us. Love mom._

He writes back a short message. He expresses interest in the job (as much as he can despite the lack of details). He knows it’s from a good place but the knot of failure that sits in his throat makes it hard for him to do much more other than apologize for not calling enough and reciprocating his love. He sends a single picture of Chanyeol, Junmyeon, and him at the Louvre.

He closes his laptop in his lap, closes his eyes and leans back.

♡♡♡

Despite the day of travelling, they’re all dead tired when they arrive at their hostel; Jongin swaying on his feet and leaning mostly on Chanyeol.

It’s a communal room, with two other bunk beds, but they’re currently empty, the owners must be out for the day.

Kyungsoo claims stake on one of the bottom bunks, laying his backpack at the end of the bed, before curling up in the rest of the space. Sehun is quick, pushing both Jongin and Chanyeol out of the way to starfish on the other bed, giggling to himself. Jongin doesn’t even hesitate, climbing to the top bunk of Sehun’s bed.

Chanyeol’s the only one that stands there, in the middle of the room, glancing at them with tired eyes. “I’m the tallest here and,” he starts.

“And the slowest,” Sehun cuts in. “You lost fair and square.”

“But,” Chanyeol starts, eyes wide as he attempts to persuade Sehun. Sehun turns around, wiggling further into the bed as he makes himself comfortable.

Chanyeol turns to Kyungsoo then, eyes pleading, “Soo, please.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t bother replying, just scoots over. It’s the first time either of them has even made reference to the fact that they had been sharing a bed. But with all of Chanyeol’s whining (and puppy eyes) Kyungsoo doesn’t know why it has to be different in Granada.

Something flashes in Chanyeol’s face before his face breaks out into a grin, dropping his backpack on the floor and laying down next to Kyungsoo. Chanyeol makes himself as small as possible, his body rolled up as he shares the space with Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo tries not to think about how used he is to this, how comfortable it is to have Chanyeol’s warm body pressed up against him. He tries not to think about how much he’s gonna miss these moments, how much he’s gonna miss Chanyeol.

♡♡♡

Their two days in Granada go by quick, not enough room for anything other than squeezing in every tourist attraction they want to see. The three other men in their room are quiet, but sharing such tight quarters with strangers, encourages their group to stay out more—only returning late after dinner.

They tour the palaces and visit the markets of Granada. Jongin buys too many gifts and Sehun scolds him about his small suitcase as he contemplates a plushie that is definitely too big.

They’re eating diced fruit and sitting at a park near their hostel when Chanyeol starfishes on his back, gazing up at the clouds smiling serenely even as Sehun and Jongin squabble about something or other (Kyungsoo had tuned them out). Kyungsoo looks at Chanyeol fondly, eating a piece of the diced fruit as he nudges Chanyeol’s thigh with his foot. It’s a silent question, but he knows Chanyeol understands when he looks over and smiles. He shrugs non-commitedly, eyes tracing Kyungsoo’s face with intensity that makes Kyungsoo shift a bit uncomfortably. Chanyeol breaks out into a smile then, the corners of his eyes scrunching up before he opens his mouth wide, indicating he wants to be fed some of the fruit.

Kyungsoo complies easily, pretends his ears and neck aren’t burning as he stabs a small piece of watermelon covered in chili powder and feeds it to Chanyeol. Chanyeol makes a small face at the tartness even as he chews happily.

“Don’t be gross,” he hears Sehun say, but Kyungsoo tunes the fight out, instead feeding Chanyeol another piece of watermelon—he tries not to be too creepy and stare at the way Chanyeol’s lips wrap around the cubed fruit.

Jongin makes a fake gagging noise somewhere behind him and Kyungsoo tears his eyes away from Chanyeol, looks at Jongin, realizing Sehun’s earlier comment was for him.

Sehun and Jongin are both looking at them, a hint of disgust in the way both their bottom lips are curled out. Kyungsoo simply raises his eyebrows, watching from his peripheral as Chanyeol sits up on his elbows.

“You guys are going to make me vomit,” Sehun says, shoving a piece of watermelon into his mouth.

“Seriously, we’re in public. Keep it in your pants,” Jongin scolds.

Kyungsoo tries not to blush more than he already is, setting down his cup of fruit guiltily. He hopes he’s not actually that transparent.

Chanyeol just snorts, brings a hand up to grab a fistful of Kyungsoo’s t-shirt and drag him down as he lays back down on the soft earth, Kyungsoo cradled against him. “Fuck off,” he says, smiling as Kyungsoo feels his whole body relax.

♡♡♡

They drop off Jongin and Sehun in Barcelona, heading straight to the airport after. Both too tired to have spent more time in the city; instead, they get there early and idle after security. They go to a small restaurant in the airport, tiled floors and dark wood making it feel nicer than a simple airport restaurant.

They don’t talk much, both too absorbed in the sub-par food and tired after the long travel back from Granada.

Kyungsoo can tell Chanyeol’s tired, dark circles under his eyes, hands a little shaky from all the coffee. Kyungsoo feels much the same, a tiredness that has settled into his bones, despite this he doesn’t want the trip to end. Thinks he could handle being so tired all the time if it meant time was suspended.

“Are you excited to see your mom and Yoora?” Kyungsoo asks, finally bridging the silence.

Chanyeol pushes his rice back and forth on the plate, but Kyungsoo can see how he visibly perks up, even if his tone stays neutral, “Yeah. It’ll be fun with them here.”

“And it’s okay that I’m crashing your family vacation?” Not like they hadn’t crashed Junmyeon’s family vacation.

“You’re not crashing—they are,” Chanyeol’s quick to say. “And plus, my dad isn’t coming so it’s technically not a family vacation.”

Kyungsoo makes a small humming noise, taking a small bite of his chicken. He doesn’t totally buy it that he’s not crashing, but he appreciates Chanyeol’s efforts to dissuade him.

“Plus, I want you here, Soo.”

**_Italy_ **

****

Chanyeol checks them into their hotel, his mom and sister’s flight not arriving until later in the day. They have enough time to take a nap and a shower, and Kyungsoo takes full advantage. He crawls into bed and settles under the covers while Chanyeol showers, drifting in and out of sleep with the lullaby of the shower running.

He doesn’t know what time it is when he wakes, the room completely dark. Kyungsoo sits up, is silent to be able to listen to see if the shower is still running. The room is eerily quiet though, no light coming in from the outside. He reaches blindly for his phone, on the table near the bed.

**Chanyeol:** headed to the airport and didn’t want to wake u

**Chanyeol:** u should order room service probs gonna get food w mom and yoora

The texts are from two hours ago and he bets they’re already having dinner. Almost as if on cue his stomach growls, feeling very empty. He knows the room service might be more expensive than if he just went out and found something quick, but the bed is so warm he can’t help but order in.

He does have to get out of bed to answer room service though, and he’s happily eating a pasta dish when Chanyeol walks in. The door opens so slowly, Kyungsoo has time to consider every movement, and something tugs at his heart seeing Chanyeol be so careful as to not wake him up.

“Soo,” Chanyeol croaks, when he finally gets in and sees Kyungsoo perched at the end of the bed. The TV is muted on some variety show—at first he’d been reading the subtitles but it hurt his eyes and he kept missing things, so he’d muted it—and Kyungsoo had only left a lamp on, the room still mostly dark.

The glow from the TV creates weird shadows on Chanyeol’s face as Chanyeol makes his way in, plops down near Kyungsoo but not quite near enough to touch. “I wasn’t sure if you were awake yet,” Chanyeol’s voice is soft, as if scared to disturb the darkness of the room.

“Woke up a little bit ago,” Kyungsoo says.

Kyungsoo’s about to ask about Yoora and Mrs. Park when Chanyeol cuts in, “I brought you food just in case, but I uh.” He trails off, holding out the plastic bag with the container Kyungsoo. “It’s chicken pasta—my mom had it at the restaurant and she said it was good, so.”

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo takes the bag and sets it down near his own dish. “Your mom and Yoora’s flight was okay, I take it?”

“A bit of turbulence,” Chanyeol says. “But they’re dead tired, Yoora almost passed out at the restaurant. I don’t think they’ll join us tomorrow morning but we can still go out?”

Kyungsoo nods, “That sounds nice.”

Chanyeol smiles at his, a thousand-watt smile, as he bounces closer. “What are you watching?” He reaches for the remote, turning up the volume.

“Some show,” Kyungsoo shrugs, it’s a competition show and there’s people running around an obstacle field.

“I bet I could do that,” Chanyeol says, when a competitor fails at the rock climbing portion of the course.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes playfully, a smile tugging up the corner of his lips, “Always so competitive.”

“Hey, I could,” Chanyeol says, eyes still trained on the TV where another competitor is facing the rock climbing wall. “Maybe when I get back home I’ll give rock climbing a try.”

Kyungsoo tries the words ‘back home’ not let him affect him too much, even when he feels himself pause a bit. They only have Italy left. Chanyeol will fly to Greece with his mom and sister from here, and Kyungsoo will return to France to meet up with Sehun and Jongin one last time before they all head back to the States. “Very Bay area of you,” Kyungsoo says, hoping his pause went unnoticed.

If Chanyeol catches the pause he doesn’t let it show, instead smiling a bit as he looks over at Kyungsoo, “Is it? But don’t you think I’d be good at it?”

“Are you fishing right now?” Kyungsoo says. “I don’t want your ego to get too big.”

“It already is.” Chanyeol grins playfully, reaching over to take Kyungsoo’s bread roll. He’d been saving it to eat last, and here Chanyeol was ripping it in half. With no hesitation he stuffs it in his mouth.

Kyungsoo watches, normally he’d react but he can’t help feeling like the time he has with Chanyeol is so little. Going too fast. “You can have it all, if you want,” he murmurs, pointing at the half sitting on his plate.

“Nah, it’s yours,” Chanyeol says lightly.

They watch the show quietly, and Kyungsoo grabs the bread roll, ripping it further in half and handing it a piece Chanyeol.

Chanyeol looks at the bread roll for a second, and he looks up at Kyungsoo with little stars in his eyes as if Kyungsoo was offering a million dollars and not just half of a half of a dinner roll.

Kyungsoo has to tear his eyes away when Chanyeol pops it into his mouth. His lips are too pink and soft-looking, enticing despite the small crumb that gets stuck on his top lip. Kyungsoo wants to wipe it away with his tongue, instead he looks down at his food, stabs a piece of pasta as he tries to wipe any thoughts of Chanyeol’s lips from his mind.

♡♡♡

They go to the Trevi Fountain in the morning. Kyungsoo points out that he thinks it would be an attraction Yoora and Chanyeol’s mom would both enjoy as well, but Chanyeol doesn’t listen, telling him they can visit again.

Kyungsoo lets it pass. Truthfully he’s excited. Like many other people his age, he’d grown up watching the Disney Channel—specifically remembered the Trevi Fountain in the Lizzie McGuire movie. It’s not like he was a die-hard Lizzie McGuire fan (or really even a Disney Channel fan), but he remembered the movie vividly—his younger cousin had been obsessed, for a while it was the only movie she would watch.

There’s a few people at the fountain when they arrive, but it’s still empty enough that they’re able to get to the front barrier fairly easily and undisturbed. They’d gotten there early, the morning chill still settled over the city.

Chanyeol takes too many pictures on his film camera, pouting when he sees the number left on his roll dwindle. He switches to his phone, taking selfies.

Kyungsoo watches him, amused, and Chanyeol reaches for him, throwing an arm over Kyungsoo’s shoulders to bring him close. Their bodies are pressed together, faces near one another to both fit into Chanyeol’s screen.

Chanyeol snaps too many pictures, ‘ _one of them is bound to come out good_.’

“Wait, wait.” Chanyeol says, moving a bit away as he hands his phone to Kyungsoo. He sets his small bag down to start searching, “I brought coins for this exact moment, Soo. Like Lizzie McGuire.”

“Didn’t take you for the Lizzie type,” Kyungsoo jokes, watching as Chanyeol tears his bag apart looking for whatever he’s looking for. The coins for this momentous occasion, Kyungsoo guesses.

“I have an older sister,” Chanyeol mumbles, but the tips of his ears are pink and Kyungsoo laughs good-naturedly.

“I watched it too. Paolo was such an ass don’t you think?”

“Totally. Gordo was so much better,” Chanyeol says, straightening up as he finds what he’s looking for, but then scrambling to get all his items back into his bag in half-organized mess.

“Although Paolo was hot,” Kyungsoo says playfully.

“But Gordo was so sweet,” Chanyeol looks up at him, a small frown on his lips. “You can’t be serious? You have to admit they were like made for each other.”

“You were blinded by the best friend trope,” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes even as he realizes the same could be said about him.

“It’s the best trope,” Chanyeol points out.

Chanyeol’s clearly ready to launch himself into a tirade, a wrinkle forming between his eyebrows. Kyungsoo laughs and presses his finger against it, making the skin smooth out, “I’m just playing with you.”

“God, I really was about to fight you,” Chanyeol mumbles, finally standing back up, backpack closed. He hands a single nickel to Kyungsoo, fingers brushing against Kyungsoo’s palm as he sets it down delicately.

“Not even a quarter?” Kyungsoo teases.

“It’s so you don’t get too greedy with your wish,” Chanyeol says, too many teeth on display as he smiles.

“Come, come,” Chanyeol grabs Kyungsoo from the hem of his shirt to pull him closer. He takes his phone back and says, “We only have one shot for this, so make it good.”

“You don’t have another nickel to spare?”

“I do,” Chanyeol whines. “But it’s not the same. The fountain isn’t going to grant us a million wishes so we have to be careful with the first one.”

“Hm,” Kyungsoo nods as if that made sense.

“On the count of three,” Chanyeol says, holding on to his nickel as he tries to find the perfect angle. “One, two—”

“Three,” Kyungsoo cuts in, a beat early as he throws his nickel into the fountain.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol practically yelps, eyes wide as if Kyungsoo had just kicked a puppy. Kyungsoo can’t help but laugh, even as Chanyeol starts to hit him lightly. “I said one chance. Did you at least use your wish well?”

Kyungsoo manages to answer in between his laughter, nodding as he says, “Yeah, yeah.”

When he manages to calm down Chanyeol is already handing him another nickel, “This time on three. Or I swear I’ll throw you into the fountain.”

“I’ll be good,” Kyungsoo promises, smiling as he takes the nickel.

Chanyeol eyes his wearily, but tries to find the perfect angle again. It’s a bit hard with their height difference, but Chanyeol bends his knees just slightly so the fountain can be seen in the background better.

“One, two, three.”

This time Kyungsoo throws his coin right on cue, going as far as closing his eyes for effect. He hadn’t bothered making a wish the first time around, so he quickly wishes, _Hey hope the first one doesn’t count. But either way I wish I could have more time with Chanyeol._ He’s not religious, but he figures wishing on a fountain is as good as anything for him. As long as he’s putting it out into the universe or whatever.

“What’d you wish for?” Chanyeol’s voice is soft, breathy, and too close.

Kyungsoo steps back, “Doesn’t count if I share it with you.”

Chanyeol seems to agree with that, nodding as he rummages in his bag again. “Can you take a solo one of me?”

“I thought no wishes counted after the first,” Kyungsoo teases even as he takes Chanyeol’s phone.

“This one is just for Instagram.” Chanyeol’s cheeks are pink as he holds up another nickel. “I’ll take one of you too.”

Kyungsoo moves a good distance from Chanyeol, trying to get just the right angle. If it was anyone else he wouldn’t try as much, but this time he asks, “Full body or?”

“If you can, or take both? I’ll just keep acting like I’m tossing something.”

“So fake,” Kyungsoo jokes, but he listens. He takes several shots of Chanyeol. Chanyeol pretends to toss the quarter, moving his arm up and down as if he were a bride at a wedding tossing the bouquet. It’s cute and endearing and it makes Kyungsoo smile even as he tries to remain focused on the task at hand.

Once Chanyeol’s satisfied with the amount of pictures he heads over, taking the phone from Kyungsoo and handing him a nickel.

“Third wish?” Kyungsoo teases.

“Go pose,” Chanyeol responds, shoving him a bit.

Kyungsoo tosses the nickel back once Chanyeol gives him the signal. “Done.” He moves away from the fountain.

“Kyungsoo, I’ll kill you,” Chanyeol says, frowning. “You’re lucky it came out good.”

“Sorry to waste your fifteen cents,” Kyungsoo laughs, poking Chanyeol’s side.

Chanyeol makes a disgruntled face, before he laughs, and pushes Kyungsoo a bit, “You’re the worst.”

♡♡♡

The pictures are cute, and Chanyeol spends too much time trying to come up with the perfect caption over lunch. Kyungsoo doesn’t help him, amused at the way Chanyeol seems so focused, a small wrinkle etched between his eyebrows.

They head to a nearby plaza after lunch, going into too many small shops before they sit on a bench, the sun high in the sky. Chanyeol has an Americano and he’s chugging it like there’s no tomorrow; Kyungsoo had opted for an ice cream cone from one of the shops.

“Should we head back to the hotel soon? I bet your and mom and Yoora are waiting.”

“Nah, Yoora texted me earlier that they’d gone out—we’ll meet for dinner though.”

“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo scolds. “Why didn’t you tell me; we could have gone back earlier. Your family is here. You should spend time with them.”

Chanyeol just shrugs, bumps his shoulder into Kyungsoo, “Wasn’t today fun though?”

“Yeah, but—”

“I know we agreed to be French farmers but should we move to Italy instead?”

“Chanyeol, your family—” Kyungsoo tries again.

“Relax, Yoora and my mom wanted to do some shopping anyway, it’s not like they miss us.”

Kyungsoo frowns, taking a small bite of his ice cream. “Even so,” he manages to say.

Chanyeol waves his hand a bit, dismissing any qualms about Yoora and his mom, “So Italy or France?”

“They’re different,” Kyungsoo answers.

“So diplomatic,” Chanyeol says. “I for one enjoyed spending time with you in France, so France.”

“Then I choose Italy,” Kyungsoo says.

Chanyeol rolls his eyes dramatically and Kyungsoo stops himself from doing the same. “Fine, then I’ll choose Italy.”

“France, then,” Kyungsoo responds easily.

Chanyeol grins playfully, but he stays silent as he drinks his Americano.

“I really did enjoy spending time with you though, feels like ages since London.” Chanyeol says after a while, tearing Kyungsoo’s thoughts away from two kids playing with a red ball near a vendor.

“We spend time together all the time,” Kyungsoo answers.

Chanyeol shrugs, not quite meeting Kyungsoo’s gaze. “I guess, but this is like, different? I was a little scared at first to be honest.”

“About what?” Kyungsoo says, he fixes his gaze on his ice cream. He knows sometimes Chanyeol shies away from expressing how he truly feels if he feels too watched. Kyungsoo gets it, he feels the same way most of the time.

“I don’t know like, we’ve spent a lot of time hanging out, but never just us two for days and days on end,” Kyungsoo thinks about Texas but doesn’t interrupt, giving Chanyeol the space he needs to verbalize all his thoughts. “Like sure, there was Texas—but even though your family or friends were there, it was never just us two alone all the time. And I know we’ve travelled together before, so I know we can get along, but I was worried you’d get tired of me or I’d be too annoying.” He trails off, silent.

Kyungsoo takes a moment to speak, wanting to validate Chanyeol’s feelings but also reassure him. “I get that, I thought about it too—you getting annoyed of me too. But you’re my best friend, Chanyeol. I could never get tired of spending time with you, even when I get grumpy I love being around you.” Kyungsoo hopes his face isn’t too red, giving him away.

“I could never get tired of you,” Chanyeol says, softly. “I love being with you too. I’m gonna miss you so bad when you’re in Texas.”

Kyungsoo wishes he had a drink to wash down the knot in his throat, as he mumbles, “Me too.”

♡♡♡

Their dinner is at a restaurant near the hotel, the waiter seems a little snobbish when he realizes he has to switch to English after Yoora’s half-attempts to order in Italian go awry.

Kyungsoo can’t be too bothered to care though, not when their food arrives and everything looks delicious. They had decided to do it family style—ordering larger portions so they could all share. It seemed like most tables were doing something similar, families of tourists all around them. Kyungsoo wonders if they had some sort of arrangement with the hotels in the area, and if they could have gotten better food a little further away.

They’re about halfway through dinner when Mrs. Park looks over at him, warm eyes matching her smile, “Kyungsoo, I know Chanyeol said you’d be staying with your parents for a bit after we go back, what are your plans?”

It’s the dreaded question—every college student’s nightmare question. He wishes he could be a child and put his hands over his ears and scream until people got the hint not to ask him. But he likes Mrs. Park so he doesn’t. Although the thought of Chanyeol saying he would be _staying_ with his parents versus saying _he would be living there indefinitely_ does not escape him. He has no plans.

“I’ll be working part-time at my family’s restaurant. I haven’t quite decided what I want to do yet.” He knows it maybe seems like he’s four years too late on deciding, but there’s not much else he can say.

“Ah,” Mrs. Park nods as if she understands, but Kyungsoo isn’t so sure. His track record (with his own parents) has shown that even if they seem understanding, they’ll always push.

Yoora jumps in, “Oh you should totally apply at the station! You did Media Studies right?”

Kyungsoo nods, averting Yoora’s gaze—sometimes she gets enthusiastic and gets the same crazed look Chanyeol gets, when their brains are thinking faster than they can speak.

“I did Media Studies as well,” Yoora is saying. “I bet the station could totally find a spot for you. We just had Andy from the Research Department leave like less than a month ago, but he left with like no notice so everyone’s been scrambling ever since.”

“Oh, Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol has the same crazed look as Yoora, there’s an intermingling emotion in his eyes though that makes Kyungsoo uneasy. He doesn’t like to be pitied or favored like this (although he knows, networking, blah blah blah). “You should go for it. We’d be in the same city.”

Kyungsoo shifts uncomfortably in his seat, twirls his pasta a bit. “Maybe. I like Texas though.” He’s half-lying through his teeth—he does like Texas, but it’s just not _home_ anymore.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol starts whining and Kyungsoo stiffens up.

He hates this, hates feeling like a failure—like he can’t get anywhere by himself. Hates that all his friends have plans and that somehow no matter how hard he tries he can’t get himself together. He wants this, thinks working in research for a news station would be an amazing opportunity. But it all feels so pitiful, so he swallows his desires and nods absentmindedly, “I’ll think about it.”

“Yay, you’d honestly be saving our asses,” Yoora says, smiling. She’s so sincere it makes Kyungsoo feel bad. “I’ll send you the details when we get back.”

Yoora, Chanyeol, and Mrs. Park go back to their conversations—bits and pieces about Yoora’s job and the aforementioned Andy storming out earlier in the summer. Mrs. Park laughs and tells a story of when she did a similar thing, but Kyungsoo can’t find it in himself to follow along. He tries to laugh at the right times, just a beat too late. He can feel himself sink into himself, wallowing in his own stupid self-pity throughout the whole dinner. Kicking himself for not expressing more gratitude; for projecting his own self-view on to Yoora and Chanyeol.

He grabs a cherry tomato and pops it into his mouth. He wishes he could reach out to Chanyeol, even as he sits near him—needs some reassurance that he can’t verbalize.

Chanyeol must read his mood, so attuned that he turns to him and offers him the faintest smile that Kyungsoo takes and holds on to like a lifeline. 

♡♡♡

They squeeze in too many attractions for them to fully enjoy every bit of it. But they manage, Chanyeol permanently living behind his camera even when Mrs. Park scolds him for missing just being there. _But it’s because I don’t want to forget_ , Chanyeol whines. Kyungsoo thinks he’s cute but he volunteers to take over camera duties, looping Chanyeol’s film camera around his neck.

Kyungsoo pretends that there isn’t some weird tension between them two, ever since their first dinner all together. He doesn’t know if the tension is coming from him and he’s projecting and reading it into Chanyeol’s actions, or if Chanyeol also feels it. He hopes it’s the former, he doesn’t want this odd feeling to color Chanyeol’s memories of Italy with him.

They check out of their hotel two days before Kyungsoo is set to head back to France and the Park’s to Greece, heading north to Venice for the remainder of their time.

They arrive late in the afternoon, the sky already a soft orange when they check into their hotel. It’s smaller than the one in Rome, run by an older couple who personally lead them to their rooms. There’s two small twin beds in the room Kyungsoo and Chanyeol are set to share, and Kyungsoo knows Chanyeol’s feet will dangle off.

They go to a nearby restaurant (at the recommendation of the hotel owners) for dinner.

Despite their low-energy, Mrs. Park suggests a bit of walking around, asking the rest of them if they’d like to join. Yoora instantly begs off, shaking her head as she complains about swollen feet.

Kyungsoo also really doesn’t want to go, his eyes drooping, but Chanyeol nods. So Kyungsoo follows, nodding.

“Soo, are you sure?” Chanyeol asks, despite Mrs. Park happily clapping her hands. “You seem tired.”

Chanyeol’s words must resonate because Yoora nods, “Chanyeol can go with mom, it’s been a long day, Kyungsoo.”

Mrs. Park and Chanyeol both agree, nodding. He wonders if his face is as haggard as he feels that they’re all pushing him to bed. 

Kyungsoo thinks the resemblance between Chanyeol and Yoora is sometimes uncanny—like now, sitting side-by-side, both with expressions of concern, nodding in sync. He gives in.

“Fine,” he agrees. “I’ll go back to the hotel; I really am tired.”

“Why don’t you and Yoora grab some hot tea before you head back. It’ll put you right to bed,” Mrs. Park suggests.

Kyungsoo nods absentmindedly, standing and following Yoora when they all leave. He waves half-heartedly to Chanyeol and Mrs. Park and heads back in the opposite direction with Yoora. The hotel isn’t too far, but they take a quick detour to pop into a small coffee shop about a block in the opposite direction.

Yoora orders first, and then looks at Kyungsoo expectantly, waiting for him to tell her what he wants so she can get it. It takes Kyungsoo a moment before he realizes and wakes up a bit, shakes his head as he protests.

Yoora just rolls her eyes, and it looks so much like Chanyeol that Kyungsoo can only mumble he wants chamomile. Yoora grins like she won something as she orders.

They’re handed paper cups with their teas a few seconds later and Kyungsoo holds it tightly. It’s still too hot to drink but the warmth is seeping into his fingers and it makes him feel a bit more aware. Less like he’s floating along.

He follows after Yoora to head back to the hotel carefully, afraid to spill the tea all over his hands.

“You and Chanyeol are so obvious, you know,” Yoora says, grinning over at him.

Kyungsoo almost trips over his own feet, a little bit of the tea splashing onto his hands as he tries to regain his balance.

Yoora just laughs. Kyungsoo thinks she looks and acts too much like Chanyeol (or Chanyeol like her). Either way, the Park siblings are a bit of a menace.

“What do you mean?” Kyungsoo manages once he feels he’s gathered his composure enough.

The hotel is a few buildings away and Yoora just shrugs playfully, holding the door open when they arrive to let Kyungsoo in. She waives at the old couple, who are at the desk talking in soft voices, before they both head upstairs.

“I just think you’re really special to Chanyeol, and it’s clear Chanyeol is really special to you too.”

“We’re best friends,” Kyungsoo says slowly. He feels a bit trapped, a little too exposed. He wonders if everyone can tell (if Chanyeol can tell). He wonders if he might as well be wearing a shirt that says _I love Chanyeol_ at all times and if that would be less obvious than the giant massive crush he carries around all the time anyway.

Yoora hums thoughtfully at that, but it’s faked, as if she didn’t quite believe him. She jams her key into her room and opens the door, “Either way it’s cute. Just don’t break his heart, or else I’m gonna have to fight you. And I fight dirty.”

Kyungsoo believes her, and he nods despite his previous insistence that there’s nothing.

“God, you really are so cute. Chanyeol’s lucky.” Yoora grins, squeezing his cheek briefly, playful. “Goodnight, Kyungsoo.”

She leaves him there, her door closing softly. It all feels a bit like a fever dream, even as he turns to open his own door.

♡♡♡

Kyungsoo’s half-asleep when Chanyeol walks in.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol murmurs. The room is dark, but Kyungsoo has adjusted to it, can see the way Chanyeol holds out both his hands like a zombie to feel the space around him. “Ow, fuck,” Chanyeol says, hip hitting against the dresser with the TV.

“Clumsy,” Kyungsoo says. Chanyeol turns on his phone’s flashlight then.

“You pushed the beds together?” He examines the room, the small bedside table that had separated the twin beds now on the other side of Kyungsoo’s bed.

“That way you get more space,” Kyungsoo says. He can feel his face heat up a bit, and he brings the blanket up towards his chin, willing for the heat to leave his face. This is normal.

“Why do you get the table?” Chanyeol says, there’s a small pout in his voice but Kyungsoo can tell it doesn’t really matter.

“For my glasses,” Kyungsoo murmurs as he feels the mattress dip next to him. “You know, the point of pushing the beds together is so we don’t both squeeze into one of the twins—that’s worse.”

“Just roll over,” Chanyeol says, attempting to push Kyungsoo onto the other mattress and settle in next to him.

“I do all the heavy-lifting of getting the beds together and this is how you repay me?” Kyungsoo says, pushing Chanyeol back (not hard enough to make him fall, but hard enough to show he’s not moving).

“Okay, okay,” Chanyeol says, straightening up and leaving Kyungsoo’s side. Kyungsoo tries not to miss the warmth too much as he hears Chanyeol rummage through his luggage and head into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

He’s quick, coming back out less than fifteen minutes later. He makes his way to the bed in the darkness, this time his eyesight better as he slips into the twin bed next to Kyungsoo.

“There’s still this goddamn crack between us,” Chanyeol says, as he settles in. “It’s virtually the same.”

“Sleep diagonally,” Kyungsoo says, already moving his feet to give Chanyeol more space to stretch out.

“But then I’m so far away,” Chanyeol says, a pout in his voice.

“Don’t be a baby,” Kyungsoo says, but he feels Chanyeol’s cold feet snake under Kyungsoo’s blanket, press against his ankles. Kyungsoo doesn’t move away.

“Soo,” Chanyeol says after a few moments of silence.

Kyungsoo makes a small noise he hopes translates to _what do you want, go to sleep_.

“Kyungsoo come up here, be diagonal with me, cuddle me.” Chanyeol murmurs.

He sounds so much like a child, but Kyungsoo is weak. “Such a baby,” he mumbles even as he does as he’s told. “Did you have a good time with your mom?”

“Yeah, there’s lots of cute little shops—we can check them out together tomorrow. It’s really pretty at night though.” Chanyeol’s voice is so close, their bodies only a hair away from each other. Kyungsoo wonders if Chanyeol can hear his heart beating with how close they are. “What about you? Was Yoora nice or do I have to beat her up?”

“Yoora’s always nice,” Kyungsoo says.

“To you, maybe.”

“That’s because I’m her favorite.”

“Must be nice.” Chanyeol says, sulkiness in his tone.

“Don’t be such a baby,” Kyungsoo says, sliding closer. “You’re my favorite.”

Before Kyungsoo can say anything to curb the embarrassment that’s boiling in his veins, Chanyeol is pulling him closer, wrapping him up in a club. Kyungsoo feels a bit like his heart is beating out of his chest, the sound thunderous to him.

“You’re my favorite too, Soo.” Chanyeol says, voice barely a whisper, lips pressed against Kyungsoo’s forehead as his arms hold him tightly.

Kyungsoo feels himself melt into the hug, a feeling of absolute bliss washing through him.

♡♡♡

They wake up tangled together under one blanket, the other blanket bunched up at their feet.

Kyungsoo rolls away from Chanyeol easily. The hotel room is cold and drafty, but he’s quick to grab a sweatshirt before heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

When he comes back out after his shower, Chanyeol is still laying in bed, both blankets on him as he plays on his phone. His hair is a complete mess and his face is puffy but Kyungsoo thinks he’s still too pretty to be real.

“Get up,” he says before he can say something embarrassing about how beautiful Chanyeol looks. He hits his leg softly for good measure, he doesn’t know if he even aims right through all the blankets.

Chanyeol just snuggles further into the bed, “Give me like ten minutes, it’s still early.”

“We’re supposed to meet your mom and sister for breakfast, Chanyeol.”

“I’ll just skip breakfast.” Chanyeol says, rolling over so his face is muffled by the pillow.

“You’re gonna be cranky if you do,” Kyungsoo sighs, sitting at the edge of the bed.

“I’ll get up in a moment,” Chanyeol looks up at him. He sighs just the smallest amount and Kyungsoo wants to reach out and smooth his hair back, instead he shifts and sits on his hands.

“We’re doing the boat ride thing, right?” Chanyeol mumbles as he gets out of bed and starts searching in his luggage for his things.

“The gondola tours, yes.” Kyungsoo smiles.

“Okay, I’ll be super quick,” Chanyeol groans as he makes his way to the bathroom.

Kyungsoo takes the moment to himself to get on his phone. He sends one too many pictures to Baekhyun (noting it’s by Chanyeol even when Baekhyun replies with a rolling eyes emoji). He makes sure to answer Jongin about his flight details, double-checking the information himself.

He ends up back on Chanyeol’s Instagram. It’s a bit of problem how often he’s been on the page since he discovered Chanyeol had been updating it, but he loves looking through the pictures Chanyeol chooses.

The latest picture is of them in the Trevi Fountain; Chanyeol had ended up posting it with just a blue heart as the caption and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, remembering the lunch afterwards when Chanyeol had brainstormed possible captions.

He likes the picture and is about to comment something or other, when Chanyeol comes out of the bathroom. He’s dressed comfortably, and his hair is still not fully dry, but he grins at Kyungsoo, “I’m ready, let’s go get breakfast.”

♡♡♡

The gondola tours are probably Kyungsoo’s favorite bit of the entire trip. Venice is completely breath-taking, nothing quite like it. Chanyeol seems to share the sentiment, his eyes shining like a Disney character as he takes it all in.

They all take too many pictures and ooh and ahh throughout the tour.

Kyungsoo tries not to fall into a pit of anxiety afterwards, remembering the short time they have left. He doesn’t want the tension from Rome to bleed into these last few days. So he tries, smiling too much and reaching out to Chanyeol more and more. Half of him wants to detach early, but he can’t—not when Chanyeol’s face breaks into a giant smile every time Kyungsoo reaches out.

Yoora keeps sending them winks that Kyungsoo makes sure to ignore. Chanyeol though, frowns when he catches her doing that, “What’s wrong with your face?”

“What’s wrong with yours?” Yoora shoots back, grinning. Neither too bothered that they look very similar.

They’re seated at a restaurant that’s nicer than what Kyungsoo would have opted for if it was just him and Chanyeol. He feels horribly underdressed, but he tries to relax, eyeing the menu.

He ends up going with a dish the waiter recommends, Yoora copying his choice.

Mrs. Park and Yoora beg off after dinner, but Kyungsoo is not ready for the day to end so he’s happy when Chanyeol suggests walking around for a bit before heading to the hotel.

They walk along the paths by the canals. There’s quite a few people out despite the small breeze. They have to press against one another to let an older couple pass by and neither moves away even as they get more room.

“This city is so pretty,” Chanyeol bridges the silence.

Kyungsoo hums, “It’s my favorite so far.”

“I’m sad we only have two days here.”

  
  
“Almost over,” Kyungsoo agrees.

They stay silent for a bit, both too involved in seeing every last bit of the city before they leave.

“Will you come visit me?” Chanyeol says, his voice soft and hesitant.

Kyungsoo pauses, squeezes Chanyeol’s forearm. “Of course.” He knows it’s true, doesn’t know when but he knows he will.

“I’ll visit too, even if you don’t want me to,” Chanyeol grins. The whole thing seems to brighten Chanyeol’s mood, tugging Kyungsoo forward to the same coffee shop Yoora and Kyungsoo had gone. Chanyeol orders a matcha latte and Kyungsoo copies him.

They sit near the canals, watching people walk by on the other side and the occasional private gondola float by. Kyungsoo plays with the ring on his hand, tracing a finger over the etched pattern.

Chanyeol must notice his movements because he reaches out and takes hold of Kyungsoo’s hand. Kyungsoo lets his hand go easily, watches as Chanyeol himself traces the small pattern.

“It’s pretty,” Kyungsoo says, voice barely above a whisper.

“You like it?” Chanyeol asks.

Kyungsoo resists the urge to point out he’s been wearing it every day, instead he nods—the smallest movement of his head. “I love it.”

Chanyeol smiles up at him softly. “I’m glad.”

♡♡♡

Their hotel is silent when they get back, one of the owners opening the door for them and waving them in before they lock back up.

Their beds are still pushed together, the blankets a mess.

It’s almost as if the whole day—the whole trip—has been leading up to this. Kyungsoo goes easy as Chanyeol pushes him against the bed, doesn’t hesitate to meet Chanyeol’s lips.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol mumbles against his lips, there’s so much in that single word and Kyungsoo grips him closer, wants to melt against Chanyeol.

It’s all too much when Chanyeol’s knee bumps against Kyungsoo’s inner thigh, and Kyungsoo pulls away, flipping them to straddle Chanyeol’s thigh.

“God, fuck, please Soo.” Chanyeol moans, even as he tilts his head up, giving Kyungsoo more room to kiss and bite at his neck. “I need you.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to give him, wants to do everything, wants to shower him in love. He let’s Chanyeol flip them over and shed their clothes. It’s different than the other times, both of them hyperaware of every movement. More tender touches filled with desperation than anything else. No alcohol to mask their feelings.

Kyungsoo doesn’t know what’s too much, if every kiss he presses to Chanyeol’s skin reeks of love, but he thinks he doesn’t care—can’t be bothered to care. Not when Chanyeol is panting and groaning with every touch. Kyungsoo let’s himself be lost, wants to show Chanyeol how much he cares about him, how much he wants this too. Wants this and more. Wants anything Chanyeol is willing to give him.

They don’t do much else other than jerk each other off, Chanyeol straddling Kyungsoo and holding both their dicks in one hand.

It’s not exactly perfect, the movements a little rough and shaky, Chanyeol’s knee digging into Kyungsoo’s thigh, but Kyungsoo thinks it’s everything. Thinks there’s nothing as beautiful as Chanyeol on top of him, eyes squeezed shut, lips parted slightly. He closes his own eyes, engrains the image of Chanyeol in his brain even as he loses himself in the sensation.

Chanyeol bites down on Kyungsoo’s shoulder when he comes, muffling himself. He moves away after, focusing on Kyungsoo right after, not even pausing for the shakiness to pass.

Kyungsoo thinks he could die like this, he grips on to Chanyeol’s shoulders, bringing him closer as he feels the tightness pull, pushing him over the edge. Chanyeol’s mumbling something against Kyungsoo’s lips, giving him soft kisses. There’s a roaring in Kyungsoo’s ears and he can’t stop chanting Chanyeol’s name like a prayer. He’s too blissed out to care how desperate he sounds, to care about how transparent he’s being.

He kisses Chanyeol with everything he has, pulling him forward, ignoring the mess of come between them.

♡♡♡

Someone’s knocking on their door. Kyungsoo feels gross and sticky, memories of last night flooding his brain. He’s sweaty and covered in come, and Yoora is yelling something through the door.

Chanyeol stirs next to him, sleep in the corner of his eyes as he sits up. His own torso is a sticky mess, but he doesn’t seem to bothered, smiling softly to Kyungsoo with so much tenderness Kyungsoo thinks his heart stops beating momentarily.

“I swear to god, if you guys don’t open this door right now, we’re leaving you too,” Yoora hisses. “We were supposed to leave five minutes ago.”

“Fuck,” Chanyeol’s eyes go wide at that, scrambling out of bed. Kyungsoo hurries after him, they don’t have time for a shower, but they’re both too gross to not shower. Chanyeol seems to be debating just wiping himself down but Kyungsoo pushes him into the shower stall, turning the water on scalding. It’s quick, and they’re even quicker to throw everything in their luggage, Yoora bursting in just as Kyungsoo is zipping up his luggage.

He’s too rushed to be embarrassed when Yoora raises an eyebrow at the beds pushed together. Chanyeol notices too, a soft pink blush raising on his cheeks as he moves over and pushes them apart, clearing his throat awkwardly.

They don’t have time to talk about it, both too rushed to make it to their train to Milan on time (they don’t, but there’s another train departing soon they manage to get on). Mrs. Park and Yoora seem to be taking turns scolding them. Kyungsoo wishes he could have a moment with Chanyeol just so they could discuss, but other than the fleeting touches there’s nothing. The beginning of the train ride is filled with Mrs. Park and Yoora worrying about making their flight on time, and Kyungsoo can’t help when the anxiety about his own flight hits him too.

Chanyeol falls asleep halfway through, his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, fluffy hair tickling Kyungsoo’s face. Yoora watches them carefully and Kyungsoo tries not to blush, tries to recall whether they had been loud last night and if there was any possibility that they could have been heard. Even just the thought makes his face heat up. Yoora seems to notice, validated in whatever she’s thinking, as she looks back to her phone.

Chanyeol doesn’t wake up until they’re arriving at the airport. He looks more out of it than before, eyes bleary. Mrs. Park leads him through check-in and security and Chanyeol goes easily, his long legs clumsy.

Their flights are at similar times and on different wings of the airport, and Mrs. Park kisses his cheek twice when they part ways. They’re both cutting it close, and there’s no real time for proper good-byes.

Yoora hugs him too, whispering, “Don’t break his heart.” She pulls away and the pulls Mrs. Park towards the convenience stand nearby, giving Chanyeol and Kyungsoo time alone.

Chanyeol wraps him up in a hug, “Promise me you’ll visit.”

“I promise,” the words come easy to Kyungsoo.

“And you won’t forget about me?” Chanyeol is hugging him tightly, mumbling into Kyungsoo’s hair.

“Never,” Kyungsoo mumbles, trying to push the knot in his throat down.

“And you won’t make another best friend? Promise.”

“Now you’re just being a baby,” Kyungsoo laughs, the lightness welcoming.

“Promise, Soo.”

“I promise,” Kyungsoo laughs.

“Good,” Chanyeol says, seemingly satisfied. He hugs Kyungsoo tighter if possible.

“Chanyeol,” it’s Mrs. Park’s voice. Kyungsoo feels tears spring up and he blinks them back before they have the chance to fall.

“I’m going now.” Chanyeol says, still only speaking to Kyungsoo. “Call me, okay. All the time.”

“I will,” Kyungsoo promises.

Chanyeol pulls away then, kisses the corner of Kyungsoo’s mouth and sniffles a bit. His eyes are watery but he offers Kyungsoo a small smile, “Love you, Soo.”

“Chanyeol,” Mrs. Park repeats, she’s still giving them their space, but there’s an urgency in her tone.

“I have to go,” Chanyeol says, smiling a bit more. “Don’t miss me too much,” he teases slightly.

“I’ll try not to,” Kyungsoo answers, too honest.

**_Nice_ **

“Whose car is this?” Kyungsoo asks, looking between his two friends who are grinning at him like they just won a million dollars.

“Ours,” Sehun says.

“Well, we borrowed it.” Jongin adds.

“You guys stole it?” Kyungsoo throws his backpack in the backseat.

“No! We borrowed it,” Jongin says again. “From these girls at the hostel.”

“I could have just taken the train.” Kyungsoo says again.

“Isn’t this more fun though?” Sehun grins, climbing into the driver’s seat of the beat-up car.

♡♡♡

Kyungsoo thinks it’s a small miracle the car makes it to Nice. Thinks it’s a bigger miracle that Sehun somehow got them there in one piece.

Sehun and Jongin are staying at the same hostel Kyungsoo and Chanyeol had stayed at. They’d talk the whole ride there, telling Kyungsoo about everything he had missed (mostly drunken nights). He enjoys the ride even as he grips on to his seat when Sehun takes turns a little too fast, Jongin laughing hysterically. He tries not to think about how these are some of the last moments he’ll have with his friends—at least for now.

The woman at the front desk smiles when she sees him. “You’re back!”

“I’m back,” he smiles gently.

“No boyfriend?”

Kyungsoo doesn’t bother to explain, instead he just shakes his head. “Not this time,” he says simply. Her face seems to fall just the smallest amount, but Kyungsoo doesn’t know if he’s imaging things and he doesn’t think he could accurately explain he has no boyfriend, that it was just a friend, and that they didn’t have a fallout, that him being here was planned. Doesn’t think she’d care too much anyway.

There’s a new group of people occupying the rooms and they’re in one of the larger bedrooms—true communal living versus the small two-bed room Kyungsoo had shared with Chanyeol before.

It’s nice though. Sehun and Jongin seem to have made friends with everyone and the girls that let them borrow their car are also Korean. They talk to Kyungsoo like he’s a good friend and make him feel welcomed.

It feels weird being back in their little beach hideaway (or almost-Nice like Chanyeol had described it) without Chanyeol. Like erasing the memories he already had here. Sehun and Jongin drag him to the same cafes he’s gone to, moving from the café’s near the beach to the beach, laying on the sand for hours occasionally taking a dip before heading back to eat lunch at another café. It’s the same routine he and Chanyeol had on the last days here but it feels off without Chanyeol here. He begs off after lunch, heading back to the hostel.

The girl who had let Sehun and Jongin borrow the car is sitting in the common area, laptop open as she types furiously.

Kyungsoo offers her a smile before heading to the communal room, planning to take a nap. There’s too many people there for a nap though, so he heads back out to the lockers where he had stored his laptop. He sits in the common area and checks his social media casually. Baekhyun and Jongdae had a layover in New York and had both late posted. Kyungsoo likes the pictures and comments before logging out, blantantly ignoring Chanyeol’s username.

“Not feeling the beach?” The girl seems to have finally finished whatever she was working on, closing her laptop.

“Just a bit tired,” Kyungsoo says, absent-mindedly going to his e-mail and logging in. There’s a bunch of junk—e-mails about rewards and coupons. “You?”

“I had some work, but I just finished so I’m heading there now.”

Kyungsoo is just about to thank her for letting Sehun and Jongin borrow her car when an e-mail catches his attention. It’s from his internship.

_Kyungsoo—_

_Hope this e-mail finds you well. I know you are in Europe currently, so please reach out when you can._

_I know this may feel out-of-the-blue but we would love to offer you a full-time, salaried position starting this October. Your job duties and tasks would greatly stay the same as what you were working on towards the end of your internship and slowly gain more responsibility as you acclimate to being full-time staff. As you know, I was really hoping my department would be able to expand soon and we are finally getting the opportunity to do so. We would love to have you as part of our team, Kyungsoo._

_I didn’t mention this earlier because of budget concerns and we hadn’t gotten the approval yet, but we would really be interested if you at least considered us. We know it might be too late but we would love to have you. I know I’ve said how integral and important you were to our team, and I hope you know I really mean that. Even these past few weeks without you your absence has been noted._

_Please contact me as soon as possible. I look forward to hearing from you._

_\--Casey_

_P.S. I’ve attached some paperwork from HR with some more details about your benefits and things, if you have any questions you can reach out to them directly or ask me and I’d be happy to relay any questions/concerns_

Kyungsoo reads the e-mail twice, and then a third time. He doesn’t realize the girl is still standing there, looking at him.

“Is everything okay?” She must have asked several times because she’s looking at him with concern, phone in her hand probably ready to call whomever for help.

“No, I’m—I mean. I’m fine. I just.” Kyungsoo feels a bit like he’s dreaming. “I just got offered a job?”

“Oh,” her face breaks out in a sunny smile that reminds Kyungsoo so much of Chanyeol it hurts. “Congrats! That’s awesome. Now you have to come to the beach and celebrate!”

Kyungsoo closes his laptop, “Yes, yes, wait.” He opens it again the e-mail still there. “Should I answer right now?”

“Maybe,” she sits next to him on the couch, skimming the e-mail quickly. “Well, maybe read the paperwork attached?” She points to the attachments. There’s several packets and Kyungsoo nods.

“Yes, you’re right.”

“But we definitely need to celebrate,” she leans back, smiling. “I assume you just graduated?”

Kyungsoo nods, “Yeah, this is a graduation trip of sorts.”

“Well, congrats. I’m happy for you,” she sounds like she genuinely means it and Kyungsoo grins wider.

“Dinner, invite your friends!” The girl stands up then, bouncing towards the exit. “It’ll be fun tonight.”

“Dinner,” Kyungsoo nods, already pulling up his messages to let Sehun and Jongin know.

“I’m Wendy by the way,” she smiles.

“Kyungsoo.”

♡♡♡

Kyungsoo does read the paperwork, quietly taking notes and making a list of questions for the things he doesn’t quite get. He sends a message to his mom and forwards the e-mail to her, not expecting an answer until later in the night.

He also makes sure to text Jongin and Sehun who instantly suggest Kyungsoo come down to the beach and drink with them. The chat filled with emojis and drunken typos. Kyungsoo tells them about Wendy and dinner instead and they agree to come back in time.

He sends one last message, hoping he’d get a response. It’d been radio silence since he’d texted Chanyeol he’d landed in France. A single thumbs up emoji the last message between them.

Kyungsoo knows Chanyeol’s busy with his family but it’s been almost twenty-four hours and he figured he could at least get a picture of some sights or something.

He tries not to dwell on it though, instead sending a quick message.

**Kyungsoo:** how’s Greece?

♡♡♡

Dinner ends up being more than just Wendy, Sehun, and Jongin. Wendy’s two other friends come along with several other people from the hostel. They all congratulate Kyungsoo even if they don’t know him, and crowd into the pub with him.

It’s evident some of them have been drinking all day, the redness on their skin from alcohol and sun. Sand still stuck under fingernails and braided into hair. Kyungsoo feels a little weightless, the tequila shot Wendy had shoved into his hand before they’d left giving him just the right edge.

The other patrons and restaurant workers seem used to it, just as lively as they welcome them in. They sit in every booth and table possible, spreading out. Kyungsoo ends up sitting between Jongin and one of Wendy’s friends— _Sooyoung but you can call me Joy_ , as she had introduced herself.

His phone stays silent throughout the night, message to Chanyeol unread. He pretends it doesn’t burn a hole in his skin, that his fingers don’t itch to reach out again. Type another message, figure out the right words, the right way to say _hey I miss you_ and _hey I really love you_ and _hey I’m sorry if I ruined everything please talk to me_.

He doesn’t want to say that though. Doesn’t want to apologize for having feelings, for loving Chanyeol.

He doesn’t keep track of how much he drinks, takes tequila shots one after another, especially after someone says it’s his birthday and all anyone says to him is _let me get you a drink_.

They end up at the beach after a while, beer and mini bottles of liquor being passed around and then someone remembers they’re celebrating Kyungsoo and someone else starts singing happy birthday and the whole thing is so absurd and Kyungsoo feels drunk and he can’t stop laughing.

It’s wonderful.

He has half a mind to go into the sea and float, wanting to look at the stars but when he tells someone they shake their head, laughing.

“Oh, baby, you’re so drunk,” it’s Wendy. She’s right there, her hands reaching for Kyungsoo as she leads him away.

Sehun or someone makes a wolf whistle and Wendy yells something that Kyungsoo can’t quite catch. Kyungsoo wants to say it’s not like that but he feels his words stuck in his throat.

They walk away from the party, closer to the sea. Kyungsoo walks aimlessly, lets himself be dragged around before he’s tugged down, Wendy sitting next to him.

“Do you feel better?” Wendy’s voice is soft, kind.

The soft sea breeze blows in and Kyungsoo closes his eyes, flops back into the sand. He feels Wendy lay next to him.

“I’m bad at knowing constellations but doesn’t that cluster of stars look a bit like a bird?”

Kyungsoo opens his eyes, looks to where Wendy is pointing up. A small handful of stars. “A little bit.” He takes a deep, shaky breath. “If you tilt your head a little bit it can be a teddy bear.”

Wendy laughs, “I see what you mean.”

They’re quiet for a few moments, lost in how wide and vast the sky looks. Kyungsoo feels a bit dizzy just looking at it.

“Are you okay?” Wendy’s voice is so soft Kyungsoo thinks he might have imagined it. “Kyungsoo?”

“Think I’m just drunk,” Kyungsoo says.

“No, I meant.” She turns to him, propping herself up on an elbow as she looks at him. “I meant, are you okay? You seem… Sorry. It’s not my place. I don’t know why I’m asking.”

Kyungsoo closes his eyes. “It’s okay. I just. I think I fucked up with someone I care about… I don’t know how to fix it.”

Wendy sits up fully, bringing her knees up and resting her chin on them. It reminds Kyungsoo of the way Chanyeol would sometimes do it, making himself so small and then groaning when his bones and joints would crack as he’d extend out.

“Have you talked to them?”

“I. I’ve tried. I guess.” Kyungsoo says. He thinks of the unread message. “He’s with his family.”

“You’re in love with him.” Wendy says, it’s not a question but Kyungsoo nods.

“He’s my best friend.”

“Have you told him?”

“Told him…” Kyungsoo squeezes his eyes shut. “I don’t want to ruin things.”

“Maybe he’s waiting for you,” Wendy says softly and Kyungsoo’s heart squeezes painfully.

“Wendy!” Joy crashes against Wendy, eyes manic as she laughs and hugs Wendy from behind. “What are you two doing over here! You’re missing the party, it’s your birthday.” Joy’s words are slurred and tumbling over one another, filled with laughter. “C’mon, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.” Joy laughs some more, tugging Wendy up.

Kyungsoo lets himself be led back, not bothering to correct Joy on his birthday. It’s nice in a funny sort of way.

He absent-mindedly reaches for the ring on his right hand, traces the intricate leaf-pattern.

♡♡♡

He thinks he might be being too rash as he texts Chanyeol, a string of semi-drunk texts he hopes can convey at least half of what he wants to say.

**Kyungsoo** : Chanyeol

**Kyungsoo:** Chan-~~~~ answer me

**Kyungsoo:** Yeollie

**Kyungsoo:** yeolllll

**Kyungsoo:** chanyeol I miss u

**Kyungsoo:** miss me too

**Kyungsoo:** is Greece fun

**Kyungsoo:** chanyeol I wanna kiss u

**Kyungsoo:** I miss u so bad

He’s in the middle of writing a long-winded paragraph waxing poetic on Chanyeol’s legs, and his eyes, and lips, when Wendy comes into the lobby. Kyungsoo had stumbled back a while ago, a group of them walking back even as everyone on the beach got rowdier.

His confession is stopped as he watches Wendy walk in, a half-asleep Joy dangling on her shoulders, dead-weight.

“Your friends were looking for you,” Wendy says, laying Joy down on the couch. “Are you texting the guy?”

“Chanyeol, yeah.” Kyungsoo nods, his heart fluttering a bit at just the mention of him. “Wait, wait, read this real quick,” Kyungsoo thinks it’s the alcohol that pushes him to give his phone to Wendy with his love confession. “Is it too sappy?”

Wendy takes his phone, eyebrows furrowing as she reads, “What is this?”

Kyungsoo opens his mouth to explain, although he thinks it’s pretty self-explanatory—clearly a confession.

“You cannot send him this,” she types something and tucks his phone in her pocket. “I don’t know him, but no one deserves that paragraph. Plus it’s better if you call—or even video. This just reads like a bad, drunken joke.”

“It took me like five minutes,” Kyungsoo whines, but doesn’t bother to reach out to get his phone back. Joy’s sleeping and it’s making him more and more drowsy.

“You both need to go to bed,” Wendy says, shaking her head. “Help me take Joy into the room.”

♡♡♡

He wakes up with a splitting headache on the floor of Wendy and Joy’s room. He must have passed out at some point after carrying Joy in. Someone had draped a blanket and tucked a pillow under his head (probably Wendy), but the floor is uncomfortable and he wishes desparately he could sleep for a few more hours.

He looks around the room, Joy is sleeping peacefully facing away from him, her long hair peeking out of the cocoon of blankets. The room is otherwise empty though, what he assumes is Wendy’s bed unmade; the third bed (the top bunk on Wendy’s bed) empty—he wonders if the other friend had spent the night elsewhere. He racks his brain for her name, remembering her from the previous night but comes up blank.

He doesn’t know what time it is and he thinks Wendy might still have his phone. He gets up, trying to not make any noise, and throws his pillow and blanket on Wendy’s bed. He makes his way to the communal room where he should be sleeping, thinking he could maybe squeeze in another hour of sleep.

He’s expecting Jongin and Sehun to still be sleeping, but their bunks are empty. Kyungsoo pauses, checking the clock on the wall to check the time—it’s still early barely nine. Jongin and Sehun are notorious for sleeping in though. He considers going out to find Wendy for his phone, figuring he probably has a message from either, but the pulsing behind his eyes and the warmth of his bed calls him and he flops down instead.

“Just an hour,” he mumbles to himself as he lets himself drift off.

♡♡♡

He wakes up feeling disoriented, the wall clock is too far away to read without his glasses, but his stomach is growling so he figures it’s close to lunch time.

Sehun and Jongin’s beds are still empty and he frowns a bit, sitting up and stretching. The headache has gone away and he sends a silent prayer for that.

He’s quick to shower and get ready before heading out of the room. Wendy, Sehun, and Jongin are nowhere to be seen but Joy is sitting in the lobby, a cup of coffee in her hands.

“Have you seen Wendy?” Kyungsoo says, after he greets her.

She seems to have been dealing with a worse headache than he had, but she nods faintly, taking a small sip of her drink. “She’s at the beach. She texted me this morning—she has your phone still.”

“I’ll go find her,” he feels more at ease knowing where his phone is and figures Sehun and Jongin are probably there too. He gets an Americano on his way to the beach, squinting a bit at the late morning sunlight. He buys a sandwich at a convenience store, and eats in in quick bites on his walk, enjoying the small village.

Wendy’s group is easy to spot, sitting near where they had all been last night. The mess of last night cleaned up, all of them sunbathing on colorful beach towels.

“Wendy,” Kyungsoo says, once he’s made his way over.

She looks up, taking off her sunglasses and giving him a grin, “Kyungsoo! I have your phone,” she digs through a tote bag and hands him his phone.

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo says, grabbing it. Wendy had powered it off to save the battery and he powers it back on, taking a seat when Wendy pats the towel space next to her. He’s expecting messages from Jongin, Sehun, and Chanyeol to pop up but there’s nothing. He even turns it on and off again to make sure. But nothing.

There’s two messages from Baekhyun though, and an e-mail from his mom congratulating him and sending him some information from the packages he’s too tired to make sense of.

“Did your boy respond to your messages last night?”

“You mean the one you deleted?” Kyungsoo blushes when he thinks about him rhyming legs with kegs.

“I meant the other ones.” Wendy laughs. “You know what you had written was tragic.”

“Maybe you’re just not poetic enough to understand _your lips are like a rose, I wanna kiss your nose_.”

Wendy laughs at that. “You’re right, you’re the modern-day Shakespeare,” she trails off. “Robert Frost? I genuinely can’t remember a single poet—I did Comp Sci.”

Kyungsoo laughs, “They both did poetry.”

She smiles at that, “I’m a genius, I guess. So did he text back?”

“Oh, uh, no.” Kyungsoo checks his messages again just in case. He tries not to read too much into it, maybe Chanyeol’s reception is just shitty. “Have you seen my friends?” he changes the topic. “The two from last night.”

“Sehun and Jongin,” Wendy nods. “They woke me up this morning. Had to borrow my car again.”

“You really shouldn’t trust them with it,” Kyungsoo frowns at that piece of information. “Did they say why?”

“Nope,” Wendy says, popping the p. “They seem trustworthy.”

“Sehun’s a shit driver,” Kyungsoo says. He’s not the worst in their friend group though.

“My car is a piece of junk anyway,” Wendy laughs. She had shared she was living just outside of Lyon, Joy and her other friend had flown in to visit her—which explained the car and being at the hostel. “It seemed very urgent when they came in this morning, I had to help.”

Kyungsoo hums thoughtfully, pulling up the groupchat with both of them.

“You don’t think they would just leave you, would they?” Wendy giggles a bit at the thought. “And steal my car? I’m sure they’ll be back before nighttime.” She squeezes his arm a little, sliding down her sunglasses on to her face.

**Kyungsoo:** u both better have a really good excuse or I swear to god

♡♡♡

He’s coming back from dinner with Joy and Wendy, their other friend (Yerim) seemingly missing. Joy had mentioned something or other about her going to Paris with a group of people from the hostel, but neither seemed too worried about that. They are all just the right kind of buzzed when Wendy spots her car.

The drinks from dinner must be catching up because she rushes over, hugging the trunk by draping her body over it. “My baby,” she fake cries. “Made it in one piece.” Joy laughs, running over to hug the car as well.

“Wait,” Wendy straightens up, elbowing Joy accidentally as she does so. “Your friends are back. Told you they wouldn’t ditch you.”

“They still did,” Kyungsoo frowns, making his way into the hostel. Joy and Wendy are still laughing as they follow. Kyungsoo says goodbye to them as he heads into the communal bedroom. Jongin is just a lump under his bed, but Sehun is sitting with Chanyeol on Sehun’s bed and Kyungsoo pauses. He has to pinch himself just to make sure it’s not a hallucination.

“Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol turns around then, his face breaking into a grin. His hair is a little greasy and there’s bags under his eyes, Kyungsoo guesses he himself looks about the same.

“Soo,” Chanyeol’s covers the length of the room in long strides, hugging Kyungsoo so tightly. Kyungsoo feels his eyes tear up, the feeling of Chanyeol’s body making him tremble with the realization that he’s here—both of them are here, together. “Why are you crying?” Chanyeol says, voice soft so that Sehun can’t hear anything.

Kyungsoo tries to compose himself before he pulls away, “Why are you here?”

Chanyeol just smiles softly at him, “I missed you, silly.”

“But Greece?”

“I took a small detour,” Chanyeol shrugs. “Can we take a walk? It’s a little weird being here.”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo nods, thinks he would walk the world if Chanyeol asked him to. They wave at Sehun, Kyungsoo too shocked to say much of anything as they head back out.

The lobby is empty and Kyungsoo wishes that Wendy and Joy were there just so he could introduce Chanyeol to them.

They walk along the beach, the waves splashing on their feet as they make their way on the compact sand. There’s still quite a few people out, despite it being close to nightfall, so they have to dodge a few random Frisbees and passerbys, but it’s nice—being with Chanyeol.

“Why the detour?” Kyungsoo asks.

Chanyeol digs his toe into the sand a bit before walking further from the waves, sitting down. Kyungsoo takes a seat next to him.

“What are we doing?” Chanyeol asks.

“We’re… sitting?” Kyungsoo feels a bit out of his element. He still can’t believe Chanyeol is in front of him.

Chanyeol smiles, “No, I mean us. What are we, Kyungsoo? Because I know I want to be with you, but I don’t know if you want to be with me.”

Kyungsoo knows this is his chance. He knows they can never go back from this, but Kyungsoo doesn’t want to go back. Not when Chanyeol is sitting next to him, not when they’re so close to everything Kyungsoo could only dream of. Not when Chanyeol came here just for him—to tell Kyungsoo he wants to be with him.

“I want to, too.” It’s simple, but he hopes he gets his point across.

“I know it might be a bit silly to start this now, you in Texas and me in California, but—”

“Chanyeol, I won’t be in Texas,” Kyungsoo says.

“What?” Chanyeol’s looking at him, searching his eyes for something. “Are you staying here?”

“What? No,” Kyungsoo laughs at the thought. “What would I do here? Why would you think—? I got a job—with my internship—I’ll be in SF.”

“Actually?” Chanyeol’s looking at him, waiting for Kyungsoo to say sike and Kyungsoo just nods, letting it sink in.

“Actually.”

“I swear, Soo, if you’re fucking with me,” but his words are muffled as he hugs Kyungsoo, pushing him to the sand. “Can I kiss you? I really want to kiss you.”

“Please,” Kyungsoo breathes. And then he’s kissing Chanyeol and he thinks his whole body has turned to jelly.

“You’ll be in the city, then?” Chanyeol pulls away, his face too close as he asks.

“Yes, yes,” Kyungsoo tugs him down, slotting their lips together. He doesn’t care if they’re in public, all he knows is he wants to be here forever with Chanyeol. “I like you so much, Chanyeol.” He thinks about how he’ll have all the time to kiss Chanyeol when they get back and he goes back to California. He wonders how he got so lucky to have someone as great as Chanyeol in his life, to have someone like Chanyeol love him back.

“I like you more,” Chanyeol says, peppering his forehead in kisses that make Kyungsoo’s heart race.

“Fine, you like me more,” Kyungsoo giggles.

“Hey,” Chanyeol says, pulling away completely to hit Kyungsoo with puppy eyes.

“Fine, I like you more,” Kyungsoo pinches Chanyeol’s thigh playfully. Chanyeol yelps and rubs his thigh gently.

**_Paris_ **

****

“Chanyeol, you’re going to miss your flight.” Kyungsoo says again, running his fingers lovingly through Chanyeol’s hair. It’s too long, he needs a trim.

“I don’t care,” Chanyeol mumbles, pressing closer.

“I’m leaving in a few hours. What are you going to do here by yourself?”

“You wouldn’t leave me,” Chanyeol says, hiccupping.

“C’mon baby, I’ll come visit. And we’ll be together all the time again in October. You’re gonna be so sick of me.”

“Never,” Chanyeol says, holding Kyungsoo tighter, if possible.

“Chanyeol, baby.”

“October is so far away, Soo.” Chanyeol’s words are muffled against Kyungsoo’s chest. “Like six months.”

“Chanyeol, it’ll be October before you know it—like three months or something.” Kyungsoo’s guessing, too preoccupied with Chanyeol to bother counting the months properly.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Chanyeol hiccups finally pulling away, his eyes are still watery and tears cling to his eyelashes, his lower lip jutted out in a pout.

“I’ll gonna miss you more.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, you big baby.” Kyungsoo laughs, pushing Chanyeol a bit away. “Now go, seriously. I don’t want to deal with you missing your flight.”

“Okay,” Chanyeol takes a deep, shaky breath. “Okay,” he repeats. “I’ll go.” He grabs Kyungsoo and pulls him closer, “Just.” He kisses him hard, no finesse in his movements, just pure need as he crashes their lips together. Almost as if he were trying to devour Kyungsoo. “I’m gonna miss you so much,” he says between kisses, pulling Kyungsoo closer, gripping on to Kyungsoo’s t-shirt. “So much.”

Kyungsoo tries not to lose himself too much. He wants to savor these moments with Chanyeol but he’s also keenly aware they’re in an airport and it’s not the type or the place for everything he wants from Chanyeol. They don’t have nearly enough time.

Kyungsoo pulls away then. “Go.”

“Miss me?” Chanyeol asks, hopeful.

“Always.”

**_Dallas_ **

Kyungsoo sees the houses and buildings come closer before finally the plane starts circling the airport, and makes its final descent. It’s dusk outside, the sun in the horizon, and he feels groggy and out-of-sorts. Even when the plane lands and the seatbelt lights turn off, and everyone starts moving around him, Kyungsoo’s movements are slowed. He doesn’t bother getting up yet, everyone already crowding to get their overhead luggage. Instead he sits back and closes his eyes, tries to release the tension his body has held while in the air. He pulls out his phone and powers it on. Kyungsoo smiles as his phone buzzes as delayed messages come through—there’s a message from his dad telling him he’s waiting, and about a million messages from Chanyeol.

**Chanyeol:** Just landed!

**Chanyeol:** Got my luggage but Yoora isn’t here yet -_-

**Chanyeol:** Yoora rly is late

**Chanyeol:** can’t believe Baekhyun was “too busy”

**Chanyeol:** RIP Baekhyun

**Chanyeol:** Kyungsooooooo

**Chanyeol:** Tell me when u land x

**Chanyeol:** Yoora just got here!!

**Chanyeol:** Ill lyk when im home

**Chanyeol:** Home J

**Chanyeol:** I realize I’m spamming .. toben says hi J

**Chanyeol:** mom too n yoora

**Chanyeol:** miss you

Kyungsoo can’t help the swoop his stomach does and the stupid smile that overtakes his face. Instead he texts back.

**Kyungsoo:** Landed.

**Kyungsoo:** Miss you.

Chanyeol answers almost immediately.

**Chanyeol:** Miss you more

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh please let me know what u thought 
> 
> tysm for reading :-) 
> 
> also i want to say i wrote the rock climbing convo like the day before chanyeol's preview for LOTJ came out where he is actually rock climbing and he can literally do anything im not even surprised


End file.
